Fat Boyz N The Hood

A real g don't care what the sign says.

Pizza Time!

It was Pizza Time Saturday at the Wave Pool.
Mmmmmmmm, pizza.

Y R U Fat?

Halburn is now giving health lectures.
He says we need to eat three healthy meals a day.
And then the 3̶7̶0̶ 330 lb., diabetic lunatic, pardon the pun, weighs in on how to eat healthier.

"Step away from that Big Mac and order a salad - with low-fat dressing. Eliminate French Fries. Cut down on breads. Eat low-fat."
This is coming from the "father" who feeds his son nothing but fast food on the mid-week evening and weekend days he gets to see him.
 This is coming from the "man" who eats nothing but fast food like polish sausages and pizza from a Speedway gas station and heat & eat microwave meals.
This is coming from the "man" who thinks Applebee's, Barnyard Barbeque, Bob Evans, FireSide Grille, and Panera are "quality sit-down restaurants ".

When you get down to under 200 pounds lardass, you can lecture people about eating correctly. Not until.
Y R U Fat?
Because you're a lazy, overeating bastard who will be dead of a heart attack or stroke soon enough.

He always has to jump in with his sock puppets.
He must have forgotten his logins for Joan Butler and Pappy Parker.

Today in sock puppet theatre...

"Scott Anderson I get that you don't like this guy. You are a narcissistic whack job. I've seen Hallburn in public. He obviously weighs less than 300 pounds, contrary to your lie. My family has seen him take his son to quality sit-down restaurants including Applebee's Barnyard Barbeque, Bob Evans, FireSide Grille, and Panera. They are always polite, which is more than I can say about your rude attack Facebook page. You are a poor reflection of Putnam County and our positive West Virginia values."

Bullshit.. Way to come up with a new FB profile, Crisco.
You want to see a narcissistic whack job? Look in the mirror.
Your latest arrest record says 330 lbs. Want to see the scan? Only you would qualify Applebee's, Barnyard Barbeque, Bob Evans, FireSide Grille, and Panera as "quality sit-down restaurants." They're shitholes masquerading as restaurants.
Your kid eats once a month at Barnyard BBQ because it's free. You get a free meal in trade for advertisement and favorable articles.

It's Taco Bell, Speedway, Tudors, McDonald's, Billy Bob's.

Every. Single. Time. You have the kid.
You claim that's "being good to my son."
No. Feeding that boy that stuff because "dad" is too poor, lazy or his hovel is too dirty borders on abuse.

"Scott Anderson Good morning cyberbully... You must feel proud spreading lies. The father and son that you are harassing were enjoying themselves at the park recently. Completely appropriate. Unlike your behavior."

Translation: Junior was wandering around the park unsupervised while dad was immersed in his notebook computer. Get another sock puppet, lardass. You and your son may have been at the park but the boy wasn't enjoying himself. He was being forced against his will to spend time with you.


What fast food did you feed him Wednesday night?

I saw your kid at the Wave Pool a few weekends back and the kid looked lost. You were nowhere to be seen. 
Turns out you were off in the deep end of the pool while the boy was left to fend for himself.
What high quality sit-down restaurant did you take him to that day?

First Pool Problem Of The Season

It's the first weekend of May and Halburn is already bitching about the area pools.
What is his obsession with pools?
He showed up at the South Charleston Community Center Pool on Sunday along with his "son" to take a dip. Unfortunately for him (and the employees there), there was a problem with the heater and the pool was closed. Crisco immediately started babbling about the 80 degree temperature outside and demanded they bus the staff up the hill and open the outdoor pool at Little Creek that's not scheduled to open until Memorial Day. Never mind that the water temperature hadn't even reached 65 degrees yet. What's a little hypothermia? "SERVICE ME IMMEDIATELY!!!" His hissy fit immediately brought the kid to tears, so now he's included the boy into his drama. 
I can't believe he actually acknowledged his insane request to move the ocean to Charleston!

South Charleston Community Center Pool

"My poor little guy... I check the web page of a local indoor pool for its hours, closure status, etc. All good. We get there and it's CLOSED due to the heater "cooking" the water. Now it's an 80 degree day, and they ALSO have an outdoor pool. They have staff. Outdoor pool isn't scheduled to open until Memorial Day. 
With temps in the 80's and the ONLY other pool closed, logic says they open the OUTDOOR pool and bus the staff up the hill... (Yes, there IS a bus!). "


Your "poor little guy" is right. Who wants to go through life with you as a father?
Logic says the OUTDOOR pool would have a water temperature of about 60 degrees.
It's the FIRST fucking weekend in May. The temperature hasn't been above 70 degrees before this. Do you have any idea what the water temperature would be in an outdoor pool? You'd be bitching that it was too cold if it were open.

 

Little Creek Park Pool

"When I talk to the director, (after he calls me back after his staff LIES to me and says he isn't working) he acts as if it's crazy to use the second pool. Invites me back tomorrow AFTER I tell him that I only get the boy every other weekend. 
The boy is in tears because he can't go swimming. (He LOVES his TMNT bathing suit, towel, and ball for the pool!)"

The boy is in tears because Daddy is ranting and raving and generally behaving like an asshole in public. He's weeping from embarrassment.
"A word to civic leaders: West Virginia has an overweight population. STOP closing the pools on 80 degree days!!! Now if I was allowed to take him to The Carolinas, there is always the ocean. And, yes, PsychoJudge Kelly banned me from taking him out-of-state and refused to order the ocean be moved to Charleston! The OTHER issue cannot be publicly discussed... 5/3 10:27pm"

A word to Halburn:
West Virginia has an overweight Halburn problem. A pool being open or closed is not going to help you. It's just your excuse.
And a whackadoo demand like wanting a judge to move the ocean is exactly why you can't take the kid  to the Carolinas, or any place out-of-state, for that matter.

 

I Just Threw Up In My Mouth A Whole Lot

This is the number one choice for the most revolting comment made on Facebook this year:

U-Haul

A North Charleston U-Haul employee gets a scathing online review.

Want to guess who it is?

Of course. Mark Halburn.

Andrew B. shares the details.

"ANDREW B. on 1/18/2015
The pick-up experience was awful, the man named Mark Halburn was rude, a liar, and generally just plain nasty, had I not been in a time squeeze, I would have NOT used U Haul, (in the past I have never had a bad experience with U haul). The wonderful young lady who handled the return of the vehicle was the total opposite of Halburn, smiling, helpful and deserving of a raise! It is my intention to write a letter of commendation concerning her, just have not gotten to it yet, and at the moment can't recall her name, but I do have it somewhere. What can you do to improve things for the next customer? FIRE HIM, FAST!!!!! He will cost you return business. Just a complete JERK, and slow as well. Seriously, an incredibly bad employee you need to terminate. If you would like to call me to discuss this, you are welcome to do so, I am sure you have my contact information with the contract."


It appears he was working this job while he was off injured at Harbor Freight.

No Fly

Halburn has been named to a very elite group at Charleston's Yeager Airport.
His picture is posted as a potential disruptive visitor after he got into argument with staff there.

The only way he will be getting back on a plane is to get two Police Dept letters of reference. He will probably get one from that dipshit Chief in Winfield  and it's possible Putnam County Sheriff Steve Deweese will come through for him again since he seems to be in Halburn's pocket. 

Could he have also been added to the TSA's No Fly list?

Congratulations, lardass! We knew you'd make it!
If you fly out of Yeager, look and see if you see his photo. Extra credit if you send us a picture.