Halburn Harasses Patrons At Octoberfest

OBNOXIOUS DOUCHEBAG WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER

A visibly drooling Mark Halburn was busy making an asshole out of himself Saturday at the Buffalo Octoberfest. PutnamLIES.com's reporter was there and observed the following scene.

Halburn went up to the GOP tent and was told to stay away. He said in a slurred high pitched lispy voice that the people there were "public officials" at a "public event" and he was entitled to take their photographs. GOP volunteers are not "public officials."

He was then asked not take pictures, but he did anyway (while holding his drooping eye open with his hand and snapping the pictures). At one point he was told that this reporter would be called and he was laughed at by the volunteers. Little did he know that I was standing right behind him and recorded the entire exchange.

He then went away and changed his slobber and food stained shirt and set up a table for Modern Woodmen of America Insurance Company with brochures regarding financial information.
That should make anyone laugh...Halburn giving financial advice to someone else!

The true mark of a sociopath is that he makes you think he is a good person and then takes advantage of you for his own ends. His attitude comes from living in California. I know another guy from there that lives nearby and he is an even bigger asshole than Halburn, if that's possible.

Do you think we could start a TV show called "Everybody Hates Mark?

Halloween Is Almost Here Again!

By popular demand we're bringing back a Halloween favorite.

Once again you can be the scariest fat kid on your block with the Official PutnamLIES.com Mark Hallburn Halloween Mask.

Download Full Size PDF

Print it out, cut it out & put it on!
(straitjacket not included)

Go to the Hurricane Walmart.
Go to Hurricane City Hall.
Go swimming (only when the pool's closed, of course.)
Be a substitute teacher in Kanawha County! (no qualifications needed)
Go Trick or Treating at Fatso's house.
Do anything you want!
You're Mark Fucking Hallburn!

Scare your friends!
Scare your neighbors!
They'll run. They'll cry.
They'll shit their pants!

Many thanks!

Happy Halloween!


Update: Readers have asked for it and now it's here!
New for 2010, the PutnamLIES.com Strokey Mark Mask!
Now with 75% more scare!

Download Full Size PDF

Bell's Palsy Causes

Over the past few days we've received a lot of letters from folks wondering: What causes Bell's palsy?
PutnamLIES.com's medical reporter decided to ask the fine doctors at the Mayo Clinic.

By Mayo Clinic staff

The most common cause of Bell's palsy appears to be the herpes simplex virus, which also causes cold sores and genital herpes. Other viruses that have been linked to Bell's palsy include:

The other causes aren’t important. LOL

Stroked Out!

HEALTH NEWS

According to a PutnamLIES.com source, Halburn was admitted to the hospital Monday suffering from what an initial diagnosis termed a "mild stroke". More tests are scheduled Tuesday to determine if this is the case.

Unfortunately, he is expected to live.
Sources now say it's Bell's Palsy. Well, he's going to wish he stroked out and died because half of his face will be broken. Look out son, Mr. Scary Face is here!




Then he blames...
everyone but himself.
He blames the Sheriff for arresting him and not paying his damage claims, disregarding the fact that he has never actually filed suit to get them.
He blames Joe Haynes for closing the pool at the same time every other pool in the valley closed, for not being allowed to swim whenever the fuck he wants and thinks a 50 year old pool fell apart in 4 years.
You want to see who's at fault, drooly? Just look in the mirror.

It's YOU.

You weigh 370 lbs, have high blood pressure and are a diabetic. You're a high-risk ball of fat who's at risk for repeated strokes. You sit on your big ass all day pretending to be a newsman and Google your name. Your only physical activity is waddling over to the window, shaking your fist and mumbling "excessive noise".

You're a goddamn mobile home with an anger management problem.

Nobody force fed you all those ding dongs and KFC and smacked you in the head until you went crazy.

And it's some else's fault?

It's all just a classic example of being unwilling to take any responsibility for your own actions.

As for the trash bloggers?

"I am sure they are cheering my misfortune." Hallburn says.
You're goddam right we are.

For once in his life, Halburn is right about something.

Whatever the ailment, we wish nothing but the worst to Halburn. Suffer, you drooling prick.

And the wishes start pouring in:


"A Stroke of Luck!"

Hi Mark! It's your ol' pal, Lee!

Karma's a bitch, isn't it? I believe this is God's way of telling you you're a dick.
Where to begin? First of all, it's true. We trash bloggers are all celebrating the fact you're that much closer to being the main course in the biggest pig roast Hell has ever seen. Second, once again you're blaming someone else for you being a fat ass!
We trash bloggers know you all too well, you're milking this for another sympathy angle. We also know that you have a track record of being full of shit, however, a simple phone call to the hospital can confirm all of this.
I can't help but laugh, cackle, and snort at you pointing fingers at everybody else that you can't exercise. What you, and alot of people probably don't know is, is this link I found dated a couple years ago:
http://www.putnumlive.com/SAVINGMYLIFEAJourney.html
(ed note: Sorry Lee, we don't link to shithead's site, no matter how amusing the pictures may be. But readers can get the gist of the story and the pictures on Tyler Hollywood's page: http://tylerhollywood.wordpress.com/2010/10/15/the-transformation-of-mark-halburn/)

You were gonna "Beat the Beetis!", weren't you? That lasted, what...two weeks? You had pictures of yourself taken working out...YOU WERE A BEAST!!! That first Rocky montage and music were going through your head, you were gonna get sliced like some professional wrestler!! But......something happened, didn't it? The fact that you're a lazy fat fuck happened. That fact that you don't want to work for anything happened. You missed your buckets of KFC and Nutter Butters!!
Fast-forward a few years later, people are riding your enormous backside for your bullying, lies, harassment, and general douchebaggedry. You start sweating more than usual, you start stressing and getting angrier that people are catching you in your lies, and most of all, a hot piece of ass stationed in our nation's capital has bested you. Oh yeah, you try calling local authorities, you try rallying a bunch of heifers on your side with claims that a 50 year old man is being bullied, your riding the coattails of young people committing suicide because dicks at their schools are giving them shit for something, you're doing ANYTHING to protect yourself and your lies, and you keep getting more stressed and angry to the point where your blood pressure is rising to dangerous levels. All of a sudden, your face starts to droop and your arm goes numb...

Like all of your "news" stories, it has holes in it. You claim that quacks at the hospital said you may have had Bell's Palsy, what you didn't mention is that having diabetes, because you're too lazy to exercise and eat mountains of food, triggers Bell's Palsy. It's no one's fault but yours, Mark. Again, you want to blame others for your misfortunes. You were convicted in a court-of-law for trespassing. Whatever pool you want to swim in, you have to follow the rules, but then again, this has all been said before. You know the rules, your bitch tit nipples just got all irritated when they didn't bend to your paper demands.
Now look at ya, playing the sympathy card again because you're a miserable fat fuck. I'll let you in on a little secret, Mark. I have lost over 70lbs. How did I do it? The old fashioned way, exercising! Plus, my job, you know...something you DON'T have...requires me being on my feet 8 hours a day. Drinking nothing but water helps, and jogging/walking for 3 hours at a local park helps, too...plus pumping a little iron thrown in for good measure. I worked at it...and working at something is something that's foreign to you.
You're lying in a hospital bed, what I assume is a bariatric bed because you are stupid as you are wide, blaming others but yourself. You know what all this is called, Markie boy? Your shit catching up to you! But, I could type until my fingers bleed, it won't get through to you because you know everything! Everyone is out to get you! We trash bloggers could care less...we already have a "death pool" going on as to when you finally do keel over. So, keep walking the path you're on, fat boy! The devil and all his friends are licking their chops!


If any other readers have any wishes for Li'l Marky send them to: putnamlies.com@gmail.com and we'll make sure they're passed along.

Put Up Or Shut Up

GOVERNMENT NEWS

For years Hurricane asshole Mark Halburn has been bitching that the zoning for his second wife's property was changed.

He offers no proof, just scurrilous accusations.

Earlier this year, he brayed about uncovering the double secret zoning change to the property which PutnamLIES.com proved to be wrong. It wasn't even her property. Anyone that could read a deed and a map could see that.
Except the dummy.

In his latest rant he continues demand that the city do something. He claims "neighbors" made some kind of agreement. Notice he never specifies exactly what the agreement was or who the "neighbors" actually are.
There's only about 3 of them. Name names.
Notice how he once again fails to disclose that his second wife is one of those property owners.
PutnamLIES.com says that the only neighbor he's talking about is HIM.
The entire article is as incoherent as its author.

He says the zoning was changed.
We say produce the documents ordering the change.
Prove it. Show us the documents.
He bugs the shit out of everyone and his brother with FOIA requests but never seems to file one for this.
Wonder why that is?

This is just another in a long line of baseless attacks against Scott Edwards by a habitual whiner.

PutnamLIES.com says put up or shut up.

Hallburn Calls Haynes A "Bitch"

Community gadfly and all around pain in the ass Mark Halburn has stooped to a new low.
Today he posted this on an internet forum:



That's a new low even for a mongoloid like Halburn.
Karen Haynes has done nothing but good for Putnam County. Her hard work and community involvement should be applauded not belittled.
Especially from someone of Halburn's ilk.

But this just shows the lengths Halburn will go to in order to get back at those who will not do his bidding.
His petty vendetta against Joe Haynes is one thing, but to attack his wife is beyond the pale.

You're a sad pathetic little man who will never amount to anything, Halburn. Except a thorn in the side of all decent people. If she were my wife, I'd kick your ass from one end of the county to the other.

You are a disgrace and an embarrassment to the human race.
You owe Karen and Joe Haynes a public apology.

Halburn Opposes Energy Conservation

UTILITY NEWS

CONTINUING VENDETTA DISGUISED AS NEWS STORY



The WV Public Service Commission has Granted American Electric Power a one half of 1 percent rate increase.

AEP says this increase will amount to about 50 cents a month and will be used for conservation programs.

The extra money will to go toward the cost of home energy audits, more efficient light bulbs and other efforts to reduce electricity consumption.

Of course, Mr Credibility & Respect, Mark Halburn is immediately against it.
Why?
50 cents a month will deprive him of a candy bar.

He has no problem with wasting our precious energy resources. He is against people finding out where their houses are leaking air and weatherizing them. He is against people using energy efficient bulbs in their homes. Mark Hallburn wants people to use MORE electricity.

How else can it be explained?
He obviously wants to put more money in the pockets of AEP.

C'mon dummy, you ought to be applauding this move. Less energy use means less money for AEP.
Hah! Stick it to the man!

But when your second wife pays the bills it doesn't really matter, does it Halburn?

Halburn thinks the company should cut executives' salaries and eliminate retirement pay. He also believes elected officials should serve with no pay and retired people shouldn't be able to work. He is clearly a Bolshevik and biased against the elderly.

We would suggest to Halburn that he is jealous that someone is making more money than him. Why don't you get a real, full time job that has retirement benefits, or any benefits for that matter, fartsack?
Both of these gentlemen worked their entire careers for these companies and are entitled to their retirements. They are also entitled to take another job or hold elected office.
Neither of which, we would like to point out, you will ever be able to do.

Nobody likes to pay more, but with energy costs increasing every day, utilities must be able to recover their costs. It's simple economics.
But we wouldn't expect someone who's filed bankruptcy twice in the last 15 years to understand that. You can file again in 2011, so start getting those papers ready, you irresponsible fuck.

This is yet another example in a long string of Halburn & PutnumLive.com trying to pass off the thinly veiled vendettas against Joe Haynes and AEP as news stories. He's a liar, hack and a bully.

Meanwhile, here at PutnamLIES.com we will continue to advocate energy conservation. Because everyone, including retirees and government employees, has a duty to conserve.The people of Putnam County aren't stupid, they know that in the long run saving energy saves money.

Halburn is certainly feeling the heat in the community. Let's turn it up on him.

We started PutnamLIES.com to do one thing: Expose the lies that Mark Halburn was printing everyday on his blog. The LIES we're talking about are his.
Now that we've been doing it for over a year, he doesn't seem to like it very much.
Advertisers have left and his readership numbers, which were greatly exaggerated in the first place, are WAY down. His whining blog about Walmart has come to an end. We saw to that. He's slipped into utter irrelevance because of us and it kills him.
But our job's not over. Mission accomplished? Not by a long shot.

People are now asking him about us. Why else would he call attention to us on his blog?

We really got under his thin skin with our last story by pointing out his seven high schools remark.

Well, we're gonna have our say here, fatsack.

Not counting Christian schools doesn't make us anti-Christian. Most people in the county don't count them and couldn't even name them. Unless you have a kid there they're an afterthought.
They have a total enrollment of maybe 200 high school students between the three of them. Insignificant.
There are almost 3000 students in Putnam County high schools.

How many high school students are home schooled in the county? We didn't count them either. We guess that makes us anti-home school in your eyes.

We eat bacon too, does that make us anti-Semitic?

The only anti we are is anti-YOU, numbnuts.

And from now on, you fat prick, when you write about us, put in the link to our page so your readers can see the truth about you, just like the people at Trader Joe's did.
Yeah, that's right. They came here to read about you.

We're putting you, your "advertisers" and anyone else you promote on notice. We are going to parody and belittle all of you. If you don't want it done don't associate with Halburn. He is a boil on the ass of civilized society and we're here to lance it.

We at PutnamLIES.com wear Halburn's opprobrium like a badge of honor.

Halburn Can't Count

Massive overnight growth in Putnam County has apparently produced new schools that nobody knows about.
According to that other publisher, Putnam County now has seven High Schools!

You want to run down the list for us, Crisco?
If this were true, there would be 3 more schools that wouldn't hire you either.

Now he'll correct his sloppy reporting.
You can cut us a check when you get your allowance, porky.