A Not So Merry Christmas

It was a pretty depressing Christmas for me this year.
Most of you know that my wife deserted me over a month ago, leaving me to fend for myself. But, I was able to pick myself up and find a really great place to live.

Now that all the excitement has died down, I thought I'd share some of the joy with you.

I got such a big tree this year that I had to move out of my bedroom.

It's OK though, the rest of my place is so luxurious that I don't mind sleeping in another room.
Well, it's kind of like another room but it's outside. I do get plenty of fresh air though!!!


I had a feast with my family, my NEW family, the night before Christmas this year. This one couldn't be beat. Best of all, it was all free!!!
Later I went over and drowned my sorrows with a big bucket of my favorite Christmas pick me up.

Then the big day came.

Somebody put some coal in my stocking. I don't know who would do something like that. Probably Joe Haynes or those darn trash bloggers again. I think I've been a good little boy this year.

The folks at PutnamLIES.com gave me even more shit this year.
What a crappy Christmas. I guess I'd better get used to it.

I hope the new year is better! It couldn't get much worse.
Many Thanks!

Merry Christmas!

From Putnam County's homeless Santa.



Another Christmas is destroyed by EXCESSIVE NOISE.

I am awakened during the night by some kind of jingling bells coming from a sled in the neighborhood and someone laughing loudly. HOW RUDE!!! There is NO reason why someone should be so rude!!! What kind of IDIOT would do such a thing so late at night?

I'm living in a dumpster behind Wally World and I still can't get any peace and quiet ON CHRISTMAS EVE!

Peace on Earth and good will to all especially Walmart, AEP, Scott Edwards, Steve Andes, Raymond "Joe" Haynes (do the Amish even celebrate Christmas?), Mark Sorsaia, Gary Walton, Ben Newhouse, Girl of Words, Lee, Lenny, Tyler Hollywood, Tybois, Harry Stamper, and all the great readers and commenters at PutnamLIES.com!

You know what I got for Christmas?

Nothing!

Here's to ya!

A Creepy Christmas Card

This Week On The Family Channel

A Hilarious Christmas Comedy!



A touching tale of an abusive bully who gets an early Christmas present.

Neediest Cases

Real Job, New Place To Live Would Make Difference For Man

Mark, 50, was married and had one child until his second
wife divorced him. He once lived in a modest $299,000 house owned by his mother-in-law and wife until they threw him out.

His wife was his sole support. Mark worked several menial jobs so that he could feel that he was contributing, but it was barely enough to put gas in his cheap Korean sub-compact car. In fact, his plight is now so bad that recently he's been forced to sleep in the car when his favorite dumpster is unavailable.
He sometimes works as substitute baby sitter for a local school system but he can only work there until they find out about his record. He mostly drives around aimlessly looking for children to photograph.

Mark has a severe personality disorder that makes it difficult for him to hold a job or interact with normal people. His weight makes it difficult to do much except his hobby of running what he calls an "internet news site". A number of arrests also hamper his ability to get along in the area. He was recently banned from all parks in Putnam County.
"He's obese, balding and very difficult. He complains constantly. He's already gone through 2 wives. Seriously, 2! How in the world did he fool two women into marrying him?" said a social worker familiar with his case.

He is in dire need of a place to live and a new wife to support him..

Won't you please help a needy, hateful old bastard have a Merry Christmas?

Needs: Cardboard boxes to sleep in, old blankets, a gullible naive desperate woman.

Cases published in PutnamLIES.com's Neediest Cases have not been verified by anyone.
Contributions may be left in front of the third dumpster from the right behind the Walmart in Hurricane.