Resume Time

Here's an interesting bit from Halburn's voluminous resume:

"Summary of Qualifications:

Conscientious, dedicated, individual who learns quickly, develops good working relationships, and achieves consistent results. Special abilities in listening, servicing the needs of others, and multi-tasking. Proficient in problem solving, communicating and prioritizing. Excellent at time management and meeting deadlines."

I could think of a lot of descriptive words but those aren't it.

Oh yeah, he achieves "consistent results" all right. He consistently starts shit with co-workers, has accidents on the job then applies for Worker's Comp or files a lawsuit. Very consistent.

It's unknown if this is from the version of the resume that Halburn stuck under the door at WEMM radio the day after the Program Director Geoff Sturm passed away .
What kind of piece of shit tries to use a man's untimely passing as a way to get a job?