Who is Joanne Case...

and what is she telling us about Mark?
You only have one chance to tell your side first.

Over 20 Years Of Assholery

For loyal Putnam readers, It's not hard to believe that I've been an asshole for over 20 years now. And this proves it.
Look at this Article from 1986. I was a fucking know-it-all even back then.

Click image to enlarge

It's always the same old shit, I make a "suggestion", nobody listens to me and then I start making accusations and demanding things be done immediately.


And here's another one from 1987.
Once again you can see the tenacity with which I grab onto an issue and won't let go. By this time I've been bitching about this for a year.

Click image to enlarge

The same thing here. I'm worried that my fat ass is going to have to waddle a block farther to park and there's no fish taco cart that way. Nutrition is very important to college students.
I portray myself as a crusader, but all I am is a self centered piece of shit.

Halburn's Doppelgänger

Check out this guy at a McDonalds inside a Walmart.
Put a mustache on him and he's everyone's favorite douche.
Must be something about being really fat that turns you
into an angry asshole.



Many thanks! to The Fury Blogger for spotting this.

Guess The Alternym

Guest Columnist
Lee Mays


Salutations folks! Lee from crypticbullshit.com
here! This is my first "guest" column on the
almighty PutnamLIES.com...Putnam County's
News Leader! I must admit I'm a bit intimidated
writing on such a well-known, well respected,
famous, celebrity blog such as this one! 

Mark Hallburn took me to lunch the other day. 
 I got to tour the famous
PutnumLive.com offices in the basement of
his wife's house, study the various
collections of fine Debbie Cakes he has from
all over the world, and got to meet his editorial
staff that includes a pillow with some smeared
lipstick on it named Jacque, a teddy bear with a
Wal-Mart t-shirt on, and his son who keeps shitting in the floor because his dad is much too busy to change a diaper or toilet train
him! It's all good, because it's all in the name of
hard hitting journalism that he is known for!

So ok...in the past Mark HaLburn has posted
under various alternyms, and all these alternyms
praise him and tell us all how awesome he is.
Well...below is a collection of REAL posts that
Mark has posted on various sites, and ones that
I have written myself...let's see if you can guess
which one is mine and which one is Mark's...

Off we go:

1.) John says:
Girl of Words is a village idiot. I live on the other
hill next to Wal-Mart. It’s a 24/7 noisetrap. Our
neighborhood has filed a lawsuit and we don’t even
know Mark. I have a log of license numbers that
charge up the hill. They wake me up almost every
night. My window, like in most homes, is 5 feet
from my bed. We are sick of this Wal-Mart that
was shoved feet from our houses.
If you want to rip Halbrun, that’s your right. But
have you ever talked with him? Have you every
been here? Or did you read a blog and decide to
flame him anonymously from elsewhere?
One other thing: I read his blog, and it isn’t racist.
Perhaps when “reprinting” it you added a few things?
Do you work for Wally World?


2.) Susie says:
I once met Mark in Happy Valley. I recognized Mark
from his days working as a radio announcer.
Mark was doing a story on the diseased mating
habits of the California giraffe. We talked for
awhile and he took us all out to lunch. Mark
only had a salad and a glass of water that day
while the rest of us pigged out on steak,
shrimp, lobster, and all the fish tacos we could
eat. Mark is a pretty light eater and wanted us
to have our fill...he's generous like that. He
even PAID for the entire lunch!! It came to
$647.00, and he paid CASH for it. I didn't
know Mark was so successful with his website
that he could afford such things! When you want
news, Mark Hallburn is your man!


3.) Kevin says:
You're trashing a great guy here. I worked with
Mark in Huntington, WV. I just started working,
we were on the elevator going up and I mentioned
how hungry I was. Well, this guy Mark...he pulls a
candy bar out of his pants pocket and just gives it
to me! He's very generous, and it saddens me that
you people are making fun of him.


4.) Dave says:
I just learned about this dialoge, AKA “Trash Talk.”
I worked with Mark at Cingular. He was a great guy.
We carpooled for months after my truck was totalled
in an accident. (Because I couldn’t afford a new truck
for months). He rarely let me pay for gas from Barboursville.
He said he was going that way anyway. I know Mark wasn’t
fired from Cingular because I saw him write his resignation
letter and give notice. He left for PRC.
I don’t read Putnamlive.com often because I live in South
Charleston. But I have been to Mark’s house during the
Wal-Mart construction. It was a Sunday afternoon and
we couldn’t hold a conversation on his front yard because
of the heavy equipment. Inside it wasn’t much better.
We ended up leaving for lunch across town.
You may not like Mark’s views about Wal-Mart. That’s
OK. But you are trashing a great guy. And that isn’t cool.


5.) Grandstrandgirl says:
Mark is so handsome! I don't know why he's so cool,
but he is! And he's not fat at all!


6.) John says:
Hurricane’s daytime fire staff is paid. And there are
two access roads to Wal-Mart. The closest one to
the accident was not in front of the homes. I was
there. No one was injured. There wasn’t a fire.
There was no need to roll fire vehicles. Here’s the
story that Girl of Words doesn’t tell: The Mayor
that F—-d up and blew down a hillside and
destroyed two neighborhoods to put in his Wally
World is one of the volunteer firefighters. I am
told he ordered the staff firefighters to roll one
truck in front of Halbrug’s house just to piss him
off. And if a fire truck and horn wake my baby
during a nap for no reason, I would be pissed off
to. They are trying to drive us out of our homes
so that we will sell for little money and so that
the city can get more revenue. None of us have
had ANY offers, and none of us are stupid, like
the mayor and his mistress, Girl of Words.


7.) Scotty says:
I live right beside Mark, and let me tell you
something...it's loud around here! Girl of Words,
her lover the mayor, and her goons no nothing
about this great state. Mark has done nothing
but good things for this town and the state of
West Virginia, everything from feeding the
homeless hand-to-mouth to sitting outside in
the freezing rain, strumming on his guitar and
singing fireside songs to collect money for the
Randy Moss Battered and Abused Family Charity.
Mark reminds me alot of U.S. presidents of old,
in fact...Mark actually wanted to host some new
"fireside chats" on radio for a local radio station,
where Mark would ease the residents of Putnam
County's minds with some hearty conversation.
The radio station said it was a brilliant idea but
they didn't have the budget for it even though
Mark said he'd do it for free. I, for one...am
getting sick of all this bashing about Mark
Hallburn, who does nothing but good for the
community. If this Girl of Words wasn't too
busy filling up the pants of Scott Edwards
maybe she could take a trip here to witness all
this noise for herself! I always tell my son I
hope he grows up to be just like Mark Hallburn!


Many thanks to Lee for his first guest column!
Submit your guesses in the comments.

Email Text Released

On Wednesday PutnamLIES. com broke the story of the unauthorized use of a copyrighted image in the "Hot Shots" section.
PutnamLIES.com correspondent Leonard Bernstein uncovered the blatant copyright violation and contacted the photographer whose rights were violated by Hallburn.
PutnamLIES.com excerpted that email in that story. Upon request of the reporter we are now releasing the entire email exchange.

From: Leonard Bernstein
Subject: photo use on website
To: Bernard Zee
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009, 1:22 PM
Hello,
I noticed one of your photos on a blog located here: http://putnamlive.com/HotShots2009BlueAngelsBernardZee.jpg
(from the main nav page you would go to the "hotshot" section.
(editor's note: Readers will have to cut and paste to see the above link as we will not link to the site.)Which appears to be http://home.comcast.net/~bzee1a/DSC_8128.jpg with your copyright cropped out. Just wondering if you were aware of this?
The owner of this blog tends to snag photos without credit, and seeing how your photos are for sale, I figured the least he would do is give credit for that great photo.
Thanks!
--
-Lenny-
From: Bernard Zee
Date: Wed, Sep 23, 2009 at 4:55 PM
Subject: Re: photo use on website
To: Leonard Bernstein
Hi Lenny,
Thanks for letting me know about the picture. You're right in that I did not give them permission to use it (I would have, if they asked).
At least they credited me indirectly in the filename of the image.
I'm very honored that you recognized that picture! You've got a great eye for details!
Regards,
BZ


This picture didn't come from an image service.
If it was submitted by a reader, there was no due diligence to check if the reader owned the photo.
Halburn says he won't print a letter to the editor without a scan of the writer's driver's license.
But apparently he'll post any picture anyone sends him regardless of who owns it.

By the way, did you get a copy of Rick Ray's license for his letter or did you just copy the letter verbatim from the Herald Dispatch, Crisco?

Piracy like this is journalism at its absolute worst, practiced
by an immoral charlatan masquerading as a businessman.
He will stoop to the lowest, most vulgar, vile and disgusting
ploys to deceive the honest, hard-working citizen.
He is the lowest form of scum on the face of the earth.

Pussy Publisher Produces Piles of Purloined Pictures

I have zero credibility!
Over the course of the last few days, the investigative team at PutnamLIES.com has accused me of using other people's images. So I changed the one I stole.

But check this one out on my Hot Shots section.

Another Halburn Copyright Violation
This image belongs to Bernard Zee

This picture belongs to a photographer named Bernard Zee. It was taken in 2007 and I published it without his permission. Like some of the cartoons I published, his name was cropped out of the picture.
Mr. Zee writes: "I did not give them permission to use it (I would have, if they asked). At least they credited me indirectly in the filename of the image."

Hot Shots is a reader submitted section. Read the disclaimer.
It just says the submitter allows me to publish the picture without compensation. It doesn't say they had to actually have taken the picture.
I don't need permission anyway. I'M MARK HALBURN, GODDAMMIT!!!

So then I decided I'd go back and poke around the archives.

Guess what I found:
A bunch of images that appear on other peoples' sites.

Here are a few:

The Indian that designed this one probably wears Chinese shoes.

Nobody around here even watches WFRV. Who's going to know?

I hope this guy doesn't come after me. He's got a gun.

USA TODAY? Are they still in business?

These are only a few of the swiped images. There are a bunch more. I guess I'll have to go and change them and claim they never existed. Or maybe I'll claim that they stole them from me.
Anyway, I stick by my defense that this is a dead but sensational issue in a continued campaign to smear me.
Maybe I used to have a subscription to something or other. I can't really remember. The voices in my head are too loud.

It Takes A Thief

IN COLOR

I'm so desperate for original material for my shitty little "news" site I thought I'd start a feature to get people to send pictures in. I called it "See it, Shoot it, Send it" .

Then I stole an image from WRDW.com in Augusta, GA for use on my site.

The original

Or did I steal the image first and use the name after that? I can't remember.
It doesn't really matter though.

I'm sure WRDW paid good money for that image, but you know how much it cost me?
Zero. Zilch. Nada.
I really don't care.
Never have. Never will.
Fuck them. I'M MARK HALBURN, BITCHES!!!

The stolen image

I didn't do anything to the image but resize it a little. Their lawyers will never figure that one out.
If anyone says anything I'll just blame it on my imaginary consultant (like I'd ever take anyone's advice) or my hosting company. I'll just say they did it without my knowledge or permission. I may be forced to fire both of them.

This is just another one of the top flight ethical practices that readers and advertisers have come to expect from me and more proof that PutnamLíve.com is Putnam county's news loser.

Honestly, I don't know how an advertiser can look his customers in the face after advertising on my site.

UPDATE: Once again PutnamLIES.com forces an unethical publisher to do the right thing and discontinue using an image he knew he had no right to use. Halburn has removed the graphic and replaced it with another. Where did the new one come from?
We will continue to hold this slimy fuckstick's feet to the fire.UPDATE 2: The graphic continues to appear on the "Hot Shots" page". If he knew anything about writing web pages that would not happen.
1994 called, Mark. It wants its web pages back, you dumb fuck.