Samaritan Or Liar?

Halburn Claims To Be Lifesaver
PutnamLIES.com Exposes Hoax

Monday, PutnamLIES.com got this screen grab in the morning mail.

Here's the story.
Very early on the morning of August 19, PsychoPublisher Halburn posted this on his Facebook page.

Some say Halburn should be honored as a "hometown hero."

Who says that?

No one.

Not even Halburn.
He says, "I seek no recognition for helping people."
Except from the sycophants he's befriended on Facebook.

Then why post it? Especially at 2:10 AM?
What's his real motivation?

Simple.
Image crafting and narcissism.
Perhaps the real reason is that he did it was to gain sympathy because he could have gone to jail Monday. Maybe the judge would give a life saving samaritan a break.

Touching, isn't it? The problem? It's all bullshit!

The Sunday, August 18 America concert was part of the Parkersburg annual homecoming. Along the riverfront. Maybe 6 or so miles off I77.
America played at 8. Which means he was on the road home by no later than 11. Which means this wreck happened sometime between then and midnight or a little later.

Wood County knows nothing about a crash.
Jackson and Kanawha don't either.
Neither do any of the counties in Ohio.
It wasn't on the WV 77 twitter feed or the WV511 twitter feed.

Bottom line is, a rollover anywhere gets police and EMS. Someone would be able to tell you if a rollover happened anywhere between there and here.

Even if there were no fatalities, there absolutely would have been news coverage of a rollover accident involving 5 people.

No TV reports.
No radio reports.
No newspaper reports.

Nobody has a record of it even happening.

If any of our readers knows about this "accident," please send us the information.

"If mom makes it."
"Is my mommy going to die."
What a fucking sick bastard.

How sick you have to be to make something like that up?

So how about it fatboy?

Let's hear your brave story of heroism.

Let's hear how, equipped only with a first aid kit and a fire extinguisher, you disregarded your own personal safety and bravely led the rescue of 5 injured motorists, all the while struggling to remain in control of your delicate emotions.

You're a brave hero and we'd like to notify the local news stations to get them to do a story about your selfless bravery.

How about some detail, like when & where it actually happened or the names of the responding agencies or the other samaritans so we could honor everybody?

You can't do it because your story is bullshit. It never happened.
Or maybe it did. Prove us wrong. Provide some scintilla of proof.

We're sure he'll have some explanation.

Halburn's excuses? Maybe he'll say, "I never SAID it was along the interstate."
Maybe he'll pull out the old "Oh! But I went home the Ohio way! I went down to Gallipolis and picked up 35 home to go back to Dunbar" story out of his ass.
Even though it would take at least a half hour longer in the dark and fog and he'd have to drive the deadly Route 35. The same road he was avoiding when he had his "accident" on I64 on the way back from King's Island in May.

When those excuses fall through he'll claim he made a side trip to Delaware. He's running out of options. There are a million ways he will attempt to weasel out of this.

The only way that this story could be less believable would have been for him to say, "the the West Virginia State Police Superintendent called me at home to personally thank me for saving that family's life, and shared with me the little girl's name-Sarah Nicole."

Every time you think he couldn't possibly be more batshit crazy, he goes and does something that proves you wrong.

Halburn has been caught yet again in another blatant self serving lie to try and make himself look good.
Shame.

9/2 UPDATE:
True to form, it takes Halburn two weeks to think up an excuse. And as predicted it's a variation on the "I went home a different way" story.

On 9/1 he posted this on his Facebook page:

"Here's what the trash bloggers missed: After the America concert I took some friends home far away from Parkersburg. That accounts for the time difference... And the location difference... Happy hunting!!!"

 

9/11 UPDATE:

And AS PREDICTED he has now trotted out the side trip lie.
It took him an additional week after his previous lie didn't work..

On 9/11 he posted another attempt at an explanation on his Facebook page.

"The trash blogger is still talking about the accident after the America concert. He needs a life... And he needs to stop assuming that I was on my way HOME after the concert! First, I took some friends home to another part of West Virginia... On my way to... drumroll please... to another state for a day trip... Happy hunting!!!"

Every time he brings this back up, after almost a month, it makes the story look less and less truthful.
Why the constant need to justify it happened? Because someone, somewhere, challenged him on it in real life. He ignored his Facebook friends' questions the last time. He not going to answer anyone this time, either.

I guess he left off the part where he was going to say,
"What these trash bloggers don't know is I am personal friends with Joe Biden and we had lunch in Delaware the next day."
Probably for security reasons.

9/12 UPDATE:
Halburn called in to the Tyler Hollywood Show tonight and claimed that the "accident" happened "on the interstate" in Washington County, Pennsylvania. Which means either I-70 or I-79.

Once this lie is proven wrong, the next thing the Hog With A Blog™ will say is he gave Tyler a fake location to, quote, MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A FOOL ON HIS OWN SHOW!!!

9/18 UPDATE: 

Exactly one month to the day after the imaginary accident, a Washington County, Pennsylvania  911 spokesperson confirmed what we already knew:
"We checked our CAD records and have no record of an accident (on I-70 or I-79) during that time frame." 

So there you have it.
Game. Set. Match.

We continue to call bullshit. You're STILL a liar, Halburn. and we just proved it.
The fact remains that there were no accidents like the one you described on that Sunday night in West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia or Delaware, regardless of how far away your imaginary friends live from Parkersburg.
Like many of his FB friends, we'd also like to know why he's trying to claim credit for something that never happened? 
Maybe the reason he believes this is because it was a vivid dream or some kind of fucked up fugue state. Maybe he got a hold of some bad acid or had a few too many Bartles and Jaymes at the America concert.
Whatever it was, it's still a lie.

Keep digging that hole, shithead.