HALBURN TRIES NEW SYMPATHY PLOY

"Back in 2006, I had a similar situation... After a week of heart tests, they found: 1) I had an allergic reaction to some food. 2) My heart is BACKWARDS. LITTERALLY BACKWARDS! After a discussion, they decided against open heart surgery. (I was 44 and had lived that long without it...) My cardiologist looked at me STRAIGHT FACED and told me not to play professional basketball or football. (Baseball doesn't put as much stress on the heart.) REALLY? At 44, what were the odds that I would be signed by a NBA or NFL team? ROFL!"

 

We're calling BULLSHIT on this one!
That’s a pretty big-ticket sympathy item for him to have never brought up until right now.
Never in any of his prior attempts to get sympathy for anything has this come out.

And since we've been nailing him for using a child as a sympathy ploy, he's had to stop that pathetic practice.He’s not dishonoring the memory of a dead child because he can’t get away with it anymore.

And, really? No doctor in any way caught that before then? Interesting.
That sounds a little major. Like it would have caused some kind of issue earlier in life, before he was morbidly obese.

And as stated in his 2008 mental evaluation when he was 47 years old:
"a). On hospital admission to Putnam General Hospital on July 28, 2006,Mr. Halburn was seen by Enrique Santana, M.D., and patient gave a history of sleep apnea for two years with the use of a C-PAP machine.
b). On July 31, 2006, Mr. Halburn had a cardiac catheterization which was unremarkable"

You’d think a heart cath would have caught that and wouldn’t have labeled A BACKWARDS FUCKING HEART as “unremarkable."

Well, fortunately, he’s at zero risk of being an athlete, because nobody’s gone pro in eating or stalking yet.
We would be surprised if he even has a heart considering the way he treats his second ex-wife and son.

Too bad it's not true.
Maybe he would die sooner.

HALBURN'S CAT RESCUE STORY IS A HOAX

More Lies From The Lying Liar
PutnamLIES Exposes Another Hoax

Remember a few years ago when Halburn rescued a family from a flaming car crash? Well, that was bullshit and we proved it.
Now he's pumping out another lie in order to make himself look good for his Facebook sycophants who think he's a swell guy.

These type of incidents always seem to happen around the same time Halburn has gotten into some sort of trouble. This one appears to be instigated by his conflict with Congressman Mooney's office and their notification of federal law enforcement.

Week before last, on Tuesday, January 19, before all the snow hit, he claimed a cat that hung out near his shitty garage apartment ran inside to escape the cold and parked himself on his saggy ass, crusty mattress.

"How cold is it? My town has a stray cat problem. There is one that hangs out near MY home. For THREE YEARS he wouldn't let me get near him. Last night it was about 4 degrees when I came home. As I opened my front door, guess who rushed inside? When I woke up this morning, guess who was sound asleep under my comforters?"

All of his toadies begged him to show them a photo of the sweet little kitty, but the vaunted reporter and photographer was unable to take even one picture.
Pretty convenient that a guy with a camera permanently hanging around his neck 24/7 took no pictures of the cat. None.
His excuse? "Apparently (the cat) was abused, because EVERY time I held up a camera to take his picture, he ran to hide."
Right.
Because a sleeping cat is so hard to photograph.
You know why there are no pictures? Because it NEVER HAPPENED!

So he then he says he named the cat Simba and since he couldn't keep it, he took it to a "no-kill" shelter the next day. It's there that the really big whoppers began.

"He returned tonight. Right now "Simba" (yes, I named him) is sound asleep in the middle of my bed, between two comforters after enjoying a bowl of warm milk and a can of cat food... I set up a litter box and he used it before going to sleep, so I know that he is housebroken. I am not allowed to have pets, so tomorrow I will take Simba to an animal shelter where I know the director will make sure that Simba finds a loving, forever home. No more freezing weather for him."

On Wednesday, a few hours after he allegedly took the imaginary feline to the shelter, he claims he received a call from the cat's owner - "Louise." She was supposedly given his telephone number by the shelter.  "Louise" just wanted to call and thank him - from Florida - where she moved about six years ago. Good thing the imaginary cat had an imaginary microchip. 
The cat allegedly escaped from "Louise's" burning home and never returned. 
Halburn just had to point out that coincidentally, it was was only about 4 miles from where he lives now.

Good thing for "Louise" that she kept her cell number when she moved to Tampa JUST IN CASE the cat ever ever showed up again. "Louise" even wanted Halburn to be there so that she could thank him on Friday or Saturday when she arrived in West Virginia for the reunion.

Snowfall Amounts Across West Virginia

On Thursday, the 21st, on the eve of the biggest snowstorm in 20 years, he says "Louise" managed to get a flight from Orlando that connected into Huntington and was reunited with her LONG lost cat. 

More Bullshit. There was no flight from Orlando to Huntington on that day.
One flight from Charlotte arrived hours after he made his post. One flight was from Beckley. Two from Fedex Memphis. Both Cargo. One From Clearwater. Two others from Charlotte arrived at 10:19am & 3:40pm.
And if she lived in Tampa, why would she drive to Orlando to fly when it would be much easier to fly right out of Tampa?

And as for the heartbreaking reunion? As expected he had a convenient excuse about why he wasn't there. He was at work and couldn't attend the happy event. But luckily for him, they put it all on speakerphone so he could listen.
There would have been NOTHING that would have kept Halburn from that reunion. He thrives on attention and praise and he would have quit his job before missing it and dragged himself through broken glass to get there.

We're just surprised he didn't use his standard self-serving excuse of, "Grab your Kleenex. I really would like to share the heart warming pictures, but "Louise" requested that I keep them private."




A check with the Kanawha County Animal Shelter shows only two cats were brought in on that Wednesday, both by women.

New Hope in Putnam County isn't a public shelter that generally takes strays. Little Victories in Milton, isn't really a shelter either. It's a rescue.
His response to something like this will probably be, "I didn't SAY where it happened or WHICH no-kill shelter! Happy hunting!"

The most telling thing is that any animal shelter where something like this happened would be promoting the shit out of this if it were true. The publicity would be priceless. There hasn't been a peep from any shelter about this.

There was no cat. There was no "Louise" and there was no touching reunion.
Why does Halburn feel the need to pat himself on the back before his adoring audience of ass kissers?

And now, as Paul Harvey used to say, for the rest of the story.

His first post on the 19th about the non-existent cat just happened to show up hours after an almost identical story appeared on the web:

http://www.northjersey.com/news/cat-that-pulled-vanishing-act-will-return-to-owners-by-jet-1.1494857

Can you guess where he got the idea for his lie?

The real original story ran on the 16th.

http://www.newbernsj.com/article/20160116/NEWS/160119284

Cat's missing owners found — 1,800 miles away

He saw this somewhere before the AP picked it up.

Even the Gazette picked the story up on 1/28/16

January 28, 2016

January 28, 2016

http://www.wvgazettemail.com/life/20160128/man-drives-1700-miles-braves-blizzard-to-retrieve-lost-cat

If only something like that would happen around here.
All of his "memories" and "stories" are just co-opted events that happened to other people. 

Like Father Like Son

Kar Killer
No-Shame November continues for Halburn
 
Halburn follows in the steps of his Dad when he admits to killing someone with a car.

Not sure what brought this lie on.
He was responding to one of those inane "Twenty Six Things about me" Facebook lists, when for the letter K he wrote this:

"K- Killed someone?: Yes. In 1994 I purposely ran over a man in a parking lot that was shooting at the retail store where he just robbed a clerk. He landed about 150 feet away... The gun went farther. The cops thanked me!"

Now, this is a guy who will trot out the most outlandish stories to gain sympathy but there's never ever been a reason for him to use this to his back-patting advantage until now?
This is something that would have been on every media outlet in the country had it actually happened.

This ranks right up there with his lie of saving the family from the burning car.

He should have followed that with "L- I'm a congenital liar."

Pat myself again

Another pat myself on the back incident. This time no doubt precipitated by the incident at Harbor Freight. These things always happen when Halburn has found himself in an embarrassing situation.

He says:
"Wednesday morning, on my way to an appointment, I drove by a home, in Dunbar, and saw a senior citizen that appeared to be taking a nap next to his home. Upon closer inspection, I suspected that he'd collapsed. I stopped my car and tried to wake him and learned he was unconscious. Thankfully, I had my cell phone and called 911 while others ran to the scene. We revived him while paramedics rolled and arrived. When I went back to my car, I realized that I hadn't even turned off the ignition. (I guess I was focused on the victim). Thankfully, I spoke to him later and he is OK. A diabetic who'd recently has his gall bladder removed, he says he over-exerted himself doing yard work. While I doubt there is an official study, I would love to learn how many lives have been saved by the availability of cell phones. We hear about texting and driving accidents, and those reports are terrible. However, I think the invention and use of cell phones are far more positive than negative. This can be a fun thread. How have cell phones had a positive impact in your life?"

Samaritan Or Liar?

Halburn Claims To Be Lifesaver
PutnamLIES.com Exposes Hoax

Monday, PutnamLIES.com got this screen grab in the morning mail.

Here's the story.
Very early on the morning of August 19, PsychoPublisher Halburn posted this on his Facebook page.

Some say Halburn should be honored as a "hometown hero."

Who says that?

No one.

Not even Halburn.
He says, "I seek no recognition for helping people."
Except from the sycophants he's befriended on Facebook.

Then why post it? Especially at 2:10 AM?
What's his real motivation?

Simple.
Image crafting and narcissism.
Perhaps the real reason is that he did it was to gain sympathy because he could have gone to jail Monday. Maybe the judge would give a life saving samaritan a break.

Touching, isn't it? The problem? It's all bullshit!

The Sunday, August 18 America concert was part of the Parkersburg annual homecoming. Along the riverfront. Maybe 6 or so miles off I77.
America played at 8. Which means he was on the road home by no later than 11. Which means this wreck happened sometime between then and midnight or a little later.

Wood County knows nothing about a crash.
Jackson and Kanawha don't either.
Neither do any of the counties in Ohio.
It wasn't on the WV 77 twitter feed or the WV511 twitter feed.

Bottom line is, a rollover anywhere gets police and EMS. Someone would be able to tell you if a rollover happened anywhere between there and here.

Even if there were no fatalities, there absolutely would have been news coverage of a rollover accident involving 5 people.

No TV reports.
No radio reports.
No newspaper reports.

Nobody has a record of it even happening.

If any of our readers knows about this "accident," please send us the information.

"If mom makes it."
"Is my mommy going to die."
What a fucking sick bastard.

How sick you have to be to make something like that up?

So how about it fatboy?

Let's hear your brave story of heroism.

Let's hear how, equipped only with a first aid kit and a fire extinguisher, you disregarded your own personal safety and bravely led the rescue of 5 injured motorists, all the while struggling to remain in control of your delicate emotions.

You're a brave hero and we'd like to notify the local news stations to get them to do a story about your selfless bravery.

How about some detail, like when & where it actually happened or the names of the responding agencies or the other samaritans so we could honor everybody?

You can't do it because your story is bullshit. It never happened.
Or maybe it did. Prove us wrong. Provide some scintilla of proof.

We're sure he'll have some explanation.

Halburn's excuses? Maybe he'll say, "I never SAID it was along the interstate."
Maybe he'll pull out the old "Oh! But I went home the Ohio way! I went down to Gallipolis and picked up 35 home to go back to Dunbar" story out of his ass.
Even though it would take at least a half hour longer in the dark and fog and he'd have to drive the deadly Route 35. The same road he was avoiding when he had his "accident" on I64 on the way back from King's Island in May.

When those excuses fall through he'll claim he made a side trip to Delaware. He's running out of options. There are a million ways he will attempt to weasel out of this.

The only way that this story could be less believable would have been for him to say, "the the West Virginia State Police Superintendent called me at home to personally thank me for saving that family's life, and shared with me the little girl's name-Sarah Nicole."

Every time you think he couldn't possibly be more batshit crazy, he goes and does something that proves you wrong.

Halburn has been caught yet again in another blatant self serving lie to try and make himself look good.
Shame.

9/2 UPDATE:
True to form, it takes Halburn two weeks to think up an excuse. And as predicted it's a variation on the "I went home a different way" story.

On 9/1 he posted this on his Facebook page:

"Here's what the trash bloggers missed: After the America concert I took some friends home far away from Parkersburg. That accounts for the time difference... And the location difference... Happy hunting!!!"

 

9/11 UPDATE:

And AS PREDICTED he has now trotted out the side trip lie.
It took him an additional week after his previous lie didn't work..

On 9/11 he posted another attempt at an explanation on his Facebook page.

"The trash blogger is still talking about the accident after the America concert. He needs a life... And he needs to stop assuming that I was on my way HOME after the concert! First, I took some friends home to another part of West Virginia... On my way to... drumroll please... to another state for a day trip... Happy hunting!!!"

Every time he brings this back up, after almost a month, it makes the story look less and less truthful.
Why the constant need to justify it happened? Because someone, somewhere, challenged him on it in real life. He ignored his Facebook friends' questions the last time. He not going to answer anyone this time, either.

I guess he left off the part where he was going to say,
"What these trash bloggers don't know is I am personal friends with Joe Biden and we had lunch in Delaware the next day."
Probably for security reasons.

9/12 UPDATE:
Halburn called in to the Tyler Hollywood Show tonight and claimed that the "accident" happened "on the interstate" in Washington County, Pennsylvania. Which means either I-70 or I-79.

Once this lie is proven wrong, the next thing the Hog With A Blog™ will say is he gave Tyler a fake location to, quote, MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE A FOOL ON HIS OWN SHOW!!!

9/18 UPDATE: 

Exactly one month to the day after the imaginary accident, a Washington County, Pennsylvania  911 spokesperson confirmed what we already knew:
"We checked our CAD records and have no record of an accident (on I-70 or I-79) during that time frame." 

So there you have it.
Game. Set. Match.

We continue to call bullshit. You're STILL a liar, Halburn. and we just proved it.
The fact remains that there were no accidents like the one you described on that Sunday night in West Virginia, Ohio, Indiana, Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia or Delaware, regardless of how far away your imaginary friends live from Parkersburg.
Like many of his FB friends, we'd also like to know why he's trying to claim credit for something that never happened? 
Maybe the reason he believes this is because it was a vivid dream or some kind of fucked up fugue state. Maybe he got a hold of some bad acid or had a few too many Bartles and Jaymes at the America concert.
Whatever it was, it's still a lie.

Keep digging that hole, shithead.

Top 10 Reasons The Flood Insurance Story is Bullshit

'

FEMA Requires Flood Insurance
Winfield Resident Bitches About Paying

Crusading out-of-state douchebag Mark Hallburn is
playing his tiny violin to accompany Winfield homeowner Kenneth T. "Buddy" Davidson's whining about being required to carry flood insurance for his home.

Halburn gets it wrong right from the start when he writes:
"As you can see from the Google Earth image, Davidson's home is down the Kanawha River from the locks, just east of Winfield High School."

Wrong again, lumpy. Davidson's house is UPSTREAM from the locks. A fact you might know if you actually lived in West Virginia.

I don’t know where to start with this one…I’ll just take ‘em in order with a Top 10 list.

1. The homeowner is a little less than 3 miles by river upstream of the Winfield Lock, 2.25 miles as the crow flies; not “a block”.





2. If you live near a lock, by definition you live near a river. Wouldn’t any sane person living near a river be concerned about flooding? It’s not like it’s never happened before in West Virginia.

3. The letter is from his lien holder, not FEMA. FEMA only requires flood insurance if you have a federally backed mortgage loan – if you own your home you are not required by the government to have flood insurance.

4. Taxpayers are subsidizing his loan, why can’t they protect their investment from risk in a high risk area?

5. Being that close to a river means the risk of flooding is high; probably higher than his risk of fire. Yet no one complains about paying for fire insurance.

6. Navigation structures DO NOT offer any flood reduction measures; they only maintain a pool for navigation.

7. If there were any flood storage at a lock (again, there isn’t) he is UPSTREAM of the lock where the water would be stored, INCREASING his risk of flooding.

8. When this property floods, you can be assured the homeowner would be demanding a federal bailout from the same FEMA he is complaining about.

9. When this house was bought, the flood risk was apparent to any casual observer. Crying to legitimate media apparently didn’t work so the owner is definitely trying an “alternative” source.

10. The Publisher only said that he called FEMA; more information is needed about where he called, what number, what time he called, etc., etc. He’s been known to make late night calls and act surprised and indignant that no one answered him.

Putnam County places the assessed value of "Buddy's" home at $85,440. Which means the appraised value is $142,400.



It took us all of 5 minutes to find this flood zone map. You could have gotten off your dead ass and done the same thing before buying the house, "Buddy".
Flood insurance on a home of that value is less than a hundred bucks a month.
If that extra C note is going to break you, you've got no business being in that house in the first place. Quit your whining and pay up, pal.

As for you, Halburn, you don't even live in West Virginia. Why should anyone care what you think?
When are you going to stop playing reporter and go away?