Overpriced Property Back on Market

More development, businesses, and jobs could be in store for The City of Hurricane if a recalcitrant husband of a property owner would allow his wife to sell her property at a reasonable price.

A real estate broker has signed a listing for the long overpriced Halburn property, immediately adjacent to Walmart.

"This should be a prime location," says the Realtor. "The location of this property is ideal for businesses that want to take advantage of Walmart's traffic and the growth of Hurricane. Unfortunately, the owner's husband has acted in ways that has alienated everyone involved. Including me. I'm not sure there's anything I can do to meet his unrealistic expectations"

Hurricane's Mayor Scott D. Edwards says "We would love to see that property developed. Getting the fat bastard whose wife owns the property out of the area will help development in the county immensely. He has done nothing but run down the value of the surrounding properties with his constant badmouthing. And frankly, their house is an eyesore."

The property owner's husband says, "I can't get to sleep because of the traffic noise. Walmart and its customers are causing the problems."

"Getting this whining tub of shit out of the neighborhood will bring more jobs to Hurricane, more restaurants and more retail. This is one of our highest priorities." says the mayor.

Other Realtors have listed the property in the past, and others have declined to list the home next to Walmart, because "the property owner's husband is such an demanding, bullying asshole".

The owner's husband says, "A prominent Teays Valley Realtor told me that he won't represent us because I am too controversial. What an IDIOT!!! We have prime location property. His comment is typical of the STUPID people that run this county."

It's probable that the property could have been sold in the past except for the exorbitant price that was being asked. At one time the seller's price was $500,000.

The Realtor says if the economy improves, the chances of a sale increase every day.

"Hurricane & Putnam County is growing every day. The whole area is becoming a business district. The sooner we can run out ignorant motherfuckers like this seller, the better off we'll be."

The seller's husband is now pleading to have his property added to the city's web site and the Putnam County Development Authority's web site, after previously stating, "The P.C.D.A. Executive Director should be tried for stupidity. The EVIL leaders of Putnam County don't have enough brains and common sense to properly plan for traffic! The P.C.D.A., the City of Hurricane, and the West Virginia Department of Highways aren't leaders, these are IDIOTS!!!!"

Mayor Edwards just shakes his head and laughs.

"Like that's going to happen," Edwards says. "He calls me names and then expects me to help him? That manatee can eat shit and die."

The owner's husband added, "Silly Scotty (Edwards) has sold his soul to Walmart's B & O taxes".

Edwards replied, "Well at least they actually pay B&O taxes, which is more than I can say about Mr. Halburn."

"The potential of this property is huge," the Realtor says. "But, it takes a seller that is willing to be reasonable and not run roughshod over any interested parties. I'm not completely convinced that's what we have here."

Mrs. Halburns' property is .618 acres. It's located within a 1/4 mile of Interstate 64, which brings in a high volume of traffic.