Letter To The Publisher

PutnamLIES.com received the following letter. We are altering our policy and will run it without comment.

Dear PutnamLIES.com readers,
It's time I come forward and say something. Over the past year several websites have been relentless in attacking me for my biased reporting and unethical behavior. And you know what? It pains me to say it but they are right. I am an asshole. That's right, I admit it. For too long I have been bullying women, harassing public officials and maligning businesses.

To that end I am today announcing the following:

1. The whole Walmart thing was nothing more than a ploy to annoy them into buying my wife's' house. We could have sold years ago and I prevented it because I thought we'd get more money once Walmart was built. I was wrong and I regret it every day.

2. She has sold the house. (The trash bloggers like to call her my second wife. I can now see the humor in that because I was always unfairly making fun of Mayor Edwards' marriages.) She didn't get what I wanted, but she's sick of hearing me complain about it.

3. I am shutting down my record setting news site immediately. (The trash bloggers like to call it a cluttered advertising shopper and I now see their point because it IS cluttered with ads.) Nobody paid for the ads anyway. I just put them there to make it look like I had sponsors.
You might remember that I put it up for sale several years ago but had no takers.
Well, there's a reason for that. It was really nothing more than a hobby that let me get into events and get food for free.

4. We are leaving the state immediately. I have decided to take a real full time job and no longer be a burden to my wife and family.
I realized that I am being a lousy example to my son. I could have had real jobs. I could have been saving for retirement. I could have been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
I hope they will forgive me for the years I've wasted on this pipe dream.

Finally, I would like to offer my humble apologies to everyone that I've abused, bullied or stalked (that means you "GOW". You're right. It wasn't a vacation) while I've been here: Walmart, AEP, PCDA, Scott Edwards, Steve Andes, Raymond "Joe" Haynes (I apologize to the Amish as well.), Mike Hall, Patti Schoen, Gary Walton, Ben Newhouse, Lee, Lenny, Tyler Hollywood, Tybois, Harry Stamper, Jerry Waters, Don Wright and his family, cheap chinese shoe manufacturers, all the great readers and commenters at PutnamLIES.com and everyone in Putnam County.

I see now that I have been wrong and I'm sincerely sorry.

Many Thanks and farewell!
Mark Hallburn
Ex-Publisher