After being thrown out of the home where I lived for almost 10 years, I was left to fend for myself. After failing in South Carolina, I was forced to move back to West Virginia, where I spent the holiday all alone because I'm an unfit father.
Now that all the excitement has died down, I thought I'd share some of the joy with you.
Now that all the excitement has died down, I thought I'd share some of the joy with you.
The fun started for me on Christmas Eve. I met some great guys at a dumpster where I was diving for Coke points and they told me about a place that served dinner FREE!
I had a feast with my family, my NEW family. This one couldn't be beat. Best of all, it was all free!!! Suckers!
Afterward, I waddled back to my HUD garage apartment.
All the excitement (and free fish sticks) got to me and I fell asleep underneath the tree in my new crib.
I was awoken during the night to find Santa standing over me. As I looked up at him he said:
When I looked on Christmas morning, all I got was some coal in my stocking.
Why would Santa do something like that? I'll bet Chip Watkins, Mike Kelly and those darn trash bloggers put him up to it. They're all out to get me. I think I've been a good little boy this year. There was that arrest and those two restraining orders but I don't think he'd hold those against me.
The folks at PutnamLIES.com did give me even more shit this year than last year if that's possible.
Later I went over and drowned my sorrows with a big bucket of my favorite Christmas pick me up.
What a crappy Christmas. I guess I'm still not used to it yet.
I hope the new year is better! It couldn't get much worse. I just hope I'm not in jail next Christmas.
Many Thanks!
Now that was funny!
ReplyDeleteWe stopped at Sheetz before going to a movie on Christmas night and saw Mark waddle in pulling a homeless cart. He set up his laptop in Sheetz and had a fun filled evening alone.
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