"Handouts" Halburn At It Again

When you have a job that requires you to have tools you buy the best. But not our boy Halburn.
Here's a guy that brags about the money his "news" blog generates. To believe him he's got so many readers that sponsors just throw money at him for the chance to advertise on his online rag.
Yet this pathetic motherfucker doesn't have the scratch to go and buy himself a new laptop when his old one shits the bed.
We're talking about the one item that enables him to allegedly earn a living.


"Handouts" Halburn, unsuccessful businessman


First he wants a free used keyboard because his fat greasy fingers have worn the letters off the old one. That's about a $10 dollar item. Oh yeah, if you have a 21 inch flatscreen monitor laying around he'd like that as well..

Now he wants someone to give him a hand-me-down laptop. Here's his latest want list from the leech's favorite place, Freecycle.
"My notebook has died. Even the Geek Squad couldn't save it. If you received a new notebook for Christmas and want to unload the old one (Windows XP or later) I promise I will put it to great use."

Freecycle rules say, "When requesting an item, you don't have to give a "sob story" about why you need it. "

But of course Li'l Marky can't go along with that. He's got to go for the pity party.
We're surprised he didn't trot out his stillborn daughter.

Back on Nov. 25, 2009 entry in his here today, gone tomorrow blog he writes:
"As I exit the Walmart from purchasing a new notebook computer, I notice that a lady is wandering the parking lot looking for her car."

It's been less than two months, what the fuck happened?
Too much KFC grease dripping off your chin onto the computer? Too much spooge from online porn? Anyone that destroys a computer in two months shouldn't have one.

And you can't have a laptop without software, so then there's:
"I have a student that needs a copy of MSWord. All he has now is WordPad which does not have spellcheck. If you have an older LEGAL version of MSWord sitting around, he could really use it. Again, NO BOOTLEG copies, PLEASE!"

So you're calling yourself a student now? Or do you have one chained up in your basement?
I'm sure there are websites where you could download a copy. You have absolutely no compunctions about stealing someone else's words and photos and trying to pass them off as your own, so why should software be any different? Why not steal that too, you fucking crook?

Did you ever hear the old saying , "Beggars can't be choosers"?
You're sure you don't have any specifications for screen size or processor speed?

You are the worst kind of beggar.
Unless you are really needy.
Then you're the worst kind of husband and father. One who refuses to get a real job and insists that his hobby will make him rich.
Not the mark of a successful businessman.

But once again, like your Walmart obsession, you'd rather have others solve your problems for you. Going around looking for a handout. Letting someone else support you. Filing complaints and lawsuits at any imagined slight. Looking for a free ride.
You are the poster child for the entitlement mentality. You are everything that's wrong with America today.

Maybe you should spend some of that lucrative settlement money you got from Cleveland Construction. What's that? You spent it all already? You've got a lot to show for that.
Then maybe you could ask your second wife to buy you a new computer since she's the one with a real job.

You know what we wish someone would give us? A golden unicorn that shits rainbows.