Wednesday, December 30, 2009

What I Did On My Christmas Vacation





Greetings from
frigid Hurricanesunny Hawaii.
Yeah, that's more like it.


I hope all of you were able to read the comment I sent on Monday afternoon.

Here's the actual text if you can''t make it out on the postcard:

Mark Hallburn said...
Aloha, everyone!

This is my final post here. I am off to Hawaii this afternoon for my latest travel feature. I will think of you as I am surfing in Waimea Bay. I'll be kicking back at a north shore resort Did you REALLY think I was going to tell you which one!) then moving on to Maui while I make plans to take PutnamLIVE.com to a higher level of greatness in 2010. Aloha, all! Mahalo! And don't worry about me writing off expenses for this trip. IT'S FREE!!!

While all of you plebes are freezing, I'm lounging in the sun.
My imaginary friends are here too.



Eat your hearts out, you backwards hillbillies!




Here's the view from the luxurious resort where I'm staying.
Everything's free when you don't actually go anywhere and your wife supports you.

It does seem much colder on this island than I imagined it though.

UPDATE:


We had a big luau this afternoon and I was chosen to participate!
They LOVE me! They WORSHIP me!
Part of the ceremony was when they chased me around with a big knife. Turns out they thought I was the pig. They were right.

UPDATE #2 - Jan 2:

Even though I left the above comment on the 28th, I now deny that I left it.

Tyler, I CAN choose what lie I want to live and I don't need any help from you.
My whole life is a lie. Nyaaah!

I'm insane but I'm pretty sure I can't be in two places at once.

11 comments:

  1. Certainly hope he's back in time from Hawaii for his Jan 27th, 10 am court date!

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  2. I hope he got permission to leave the state.

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  3. Court date? Pray tell, please!!

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  4. What's up with the court date?

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  5. Mark...dude...you GOTTA make a picture of him in one of those "Hawaiian" skirts and a coconut bra!

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  6. Turns out we just now received an update from somewhere in the Pacific.

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  7. This just in...Mark's in Hawaii audtioning for a starring role in an updated version of "Chips!" However, he threw a fit because he thought it was a show about actual potato chips, and not guys in tight cop uniforms fighting crime on the mean streets of Hawaii.

    Er...my bad...looks like he's down there trying to get a story from Dog the Bounty Hunter...however, it looks like Dog already has a pig for a "wife" following him around. Mark saw the similarities and is on location right now!!

    According to my site, which has already risen to new heights BEFORE Mark's little blog...the aforementioned "Ponch" visited my site a few times today and spent quite awhile on there. I'm guessing he's on his G5 airplane right now en route to Hawaii, with a special connection that's coming right from his blue cracker box.

    I appreciate that you're stalking me, Ponch...but I don't need another pair of flabby tits to grab onto, Delores' is quite enough. We're going to that Mason County Sex Club this weekend to celebrate with some "friends" from Wal-Mart and AEP!

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  8. That last update somehow reminded me of "Lord of the Flies"

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  9. More like "Lord of the Thighs."

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  10. I'm curious, Mark. On the 28th at 1:03 PM you said Aloha as you got ready to head to Hawaii that afternoon. Yet...

    ...later that evening at 11:27PM you were awoken by a car horn going off in the Wal Mart parking lot? That's amazing to hear that all the way in Hawaii!

    On the 29th you were able to identify a White Hall Transportation truck going up the the road to Wal Mart!? Holy crap. That's amazing!

    Not to mention the next morning, the 30th, when you got all bent out of shape at the street sweeper.

    We all knew the trip to Hawaii was hoo hash, Mark. This just proves it. and if you want to argue this and say you were in Hawaii, well then that just makes your Wal Mart blog just pure bullshit.

    Choose which lie you wish to live.

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