Well, I planted my 10 Norway spruce trees Saturday. Or rather, my wife planted them after I locked the boy in the closet. That's right, I lounged around while she did all the work, and why not, she's the breadwinner of the family, she should have to do most of the work.

Hey, I helped. I dug a couple of holes, but my obesity and diabetes don't allow me to exert myself physically, so I ordered her around while she hauled water and mulch. Meanwhile, I drank a cool, refreshing lemonade. I'm not a real man so I don't have to worry about having MY wife do all the work. She's like a mule, that woman.

Here's my scam. I joined the Arbor Day Foundation. I paid $10 for a six month membership and got 10 free trees. Then I told everyone that I paid a bundle for them.
So I got 10 8 inch trees. FREE! HA! That'll show Silly Scotty and Raymond "Joe" Haynes.
If you're lucky, god willing, I'll be long dead before they're as tall as my boy.

I wonder if there is a National Sound Wall Day Foundation?

Handouts Halburn At It Again

On Tuesday, April 6, the day after 29 West Virginia miners were killed in an explosion, the most pressing thing on Mark Halburn's mind was filing two more baseless complaints with the Public Service commission. It seems that poor little Mark was inconvenienced by some momentary power outages and a baseball game that wasn't on TV. Wait until you get a load of these complaints.



First let's look at the AEP complaint about their "CRAPPY ELECTRICAL SERVICE."

"WE HAVE ENDURED AT LEAST SIX POWER OUTAGES SINCE FEBRUARY 1ST 2010. AEP IS AN EPIC FAILURE OF A POWER COMPANY AND HAS FAILED TO DO ITS JOB AND SOLVE THE OUTAGES PROBLEM."

Yes folks, that's how he writes. All caps. A true sign of an unbalanced mind.

He has to shout to the world, "LOOK AT ME, I'M A NUT. PAY ATTENTION TO ME. I'M IMPORTANT!!!"

How long was the power out you might ask?

6 outages, each lasting only seconds. SECONDS.

And here's what he wants:

"ELIMINATION OF AEP. A NEW COMPETENT COMPANY. TERMINATION OF ALL AEP PERMITS IN WEST VIRGINIA. FREE ELECTRICITY FOR LIFE."

There it is right there folks.
The crux of the biscuit.
Handouts Halburn wants free electricity.

Now let's get to the real problem. His TV cable company, Suddenlink.

"ON EASTER SUNDAY 4-4-2010 WE WERE UNABLE TO MAKE OUTGOING PHONE CALLS FOR SIX HOURS.
ON 4-5-2010 SUDDENLINK FAILED TO TELEVISE DODGERS/PIRATES OPENING DAY GAME DESPITE PROMOS & GRAPHICS PROMISING SUCH GAME."

Jeezus H. Tapdancing Christ! He's bitching about not seeing a fucking baseball game. Well, guess what crisco?
Suddenlink has no control over a sports channel's programming. They can only air what they receive.
Halburn should know that as someone that claims to have worked in broadcasting.

What's his solution?

"ELIMINATION OF SUDDENLINK IN WEST VIRGINIA, TERMINATION OF PETE ABEL, MUST CARRY MLB CHANNEL AND ALL DODGERS GAMES. FREE SERVICE FOR LIFE!"

Again with the freebies. Anything so Halburn doesn't have to be inconvenienced and can lounge on his wife's couch, eat bon-bons and watch TV.

What? No demand that everyone involved be criminally prosecuted?

He's slipping.

The company DID point out however, Halburn's history of filing complaints.

With each PSC filing Halburn's complaints get more and more unhinged.
Take a look at the handwriting. That's not the hand of a sane person.
The resolutions he wants are not even rational.

And, as with his other complaints, this one will be marked DENIED as well. It's only a matter of time before he's going be barred from filing any future complaints.

You're a fucking nut, Halburn. It's genetic.

You lose again, bitch.

Hurricane Government Urged to Enforce Tax Laws

Halburn has maintained for years that he doesn't run his "business" from his home.
We knew it was bullshit but his actions early Saturday morning prove what we've known all along.
Halburn is a liar.
And a tax cheat.

After visiting the REAL Putnam News Leader at 3:17 AM, he read our headline about Oshel Craigo.

Then he updated his site at 3:31 AM Saturday morning



with the Craigo story.

And since he visits PutnamLIES.com numerous times daily, he saw our comment mentioning that fact, and knowing he'd been caught in yet another lie, he went into cover-his-ass mode.
So at 10:42 AM he posted this:

"April 10th, 2010: Walmart traffic noise wakes me up at about 3:00 a.m. I take a drive to my office to update PutnamLIVE.com. The Internet trash whiners have a fit. Screw them!"

HORSESHIT!
He wants us to believe he got in his fatmobile and toddled over to his imaginary office in some guy's basement. And at 3:30 in the morning no less!
Well, we're not buying it.
He didn't drive anywhere. He shuffled across the hall in his bathrobe and slippers and updated his page. PutnamLIES.com has the video.
We were born at night, but not last night.

He claims to be exempt from Hurricane's B&O taxes for numerous reasons.

"PutnumLIVE.com does not publish from the neighborhood, so its operations in Fraziers Bottom were not affected by either outage.
Mar 2008

And from last year:
"According to Mayor Peak, because the point of publication, and the bank accounts, are outside of Hurricane, I don’t have to pay B & O."

"My office is located in another person’s home about 1/4 -1/2 mile outside the city limits. I trade out the rent for maintining(sic) this person’s web site. So, because my office is outside the city limits, and because the bank account is outside the city limits, and because the host is in Chicago, and because the work is done outside the city limits, NO B&O taxes are owed. No one said a “home-based business” has to be in YOUR home! (And, in case you are wondering, it’s about a 2-minute drive down the hill. But, when the weather is nice, I walk!)"

Then just last month:

"I helped a gentleman who owns a home, I have a trade out, I give him some services, he gives me office space."

Which is a barter. And is considered taxable income by the IRS. We bet that doesn't get declared.

According to Mayor McCheese, he's a deadbeat.

There's always some excuse with him. We knew all those excuses were lies. He just went and proved it.

Here's Hurricane's B&O tax law:

Sec. 729.09. Service business or calling not otherwise specifically taxed. Upon every person engaging or continuing within this City in any service business or calling not otherwise specifically taxed under this Article, there is likewise hereby levied and shall be collected a tax equal to 0.53 percent of the gross income of any such business. (Code 1979, § 6-2-9; Code 1991, § 729.09)
Sec. 729.07. Contracting. Upon every person engaging or continuing within this City in the business of contracting, the tax shall be equal to 1.25 percent of the gross income of the business. (Code 1979, § 6-2-7; Code 1991, § 729.07)

Your second wife' house is within the city and you're doing business there.

PutnamLIES.com calls on the City of Hurricane to investigate Halburn's business location and practices immediately. Subpoena his server records from Hostway and see just when and from where he does his posting. The IP address will prove our claims. He should be aggressively prosecuted and incarcerated.

It is not acceptable that other businesses located in the city must bear the tax burden when one unscrupulous businessman thumbs his nose at the law, especially when that businessman demands strict adherence of the law by others.

We demand that Halburn resign immediately and pay $10 million in PUNITIVE damages and a $1 million PER MINUTE late-fee penalty.

PutnamLIES.com requests that all readers call city hall and ask for an investigation of Halburn's business circumstances.

Get your city business license and pay your B & O taxes, you fucking deadbeat.

KFC Double Down Sandwich is Here!

Halburn Races To Be First In Line

This Land Is Our Land... Not The P.C.D.A.'s? Be Careful What You Ask For

In his latest screed, Halburn says this land is our land.
He's talking about the yet to be developed land on the hill above the Walmart and Hurricane Marketplace.



Halburn suggests that the PCDA give up that land. Instead of as he says, "holding it hostage" for what he calls "a king’s ransom that it will never get", he says they should donate the land to the City of Hurricane or Putnam County Parks and Recreation for a new park. And that it would attract more customers to Dollar Tree, Walmart, GameStop, and other nearby businesses. It would also make the Hurricane Marketplace a more attractive place for new businesses, part of the PCDA's mission for economic growth.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Of course it would. This is just another cheap ploy to feather your own nest, lardass.
Anything to increase your perceived value of your second wife's property.
But you know what? Then we'd have to endure a never ending series of whining about rude parents shuttling their kids to soccer and little league practices and games. The increased traffic, the increased excessive noise, etc, etc.



Oh, the pain of it all!

Because the entrance road is going to be the one that goes in front of your shit shack.

Just think of the fun you'll have, fuckstick.
Endless lines of rude, self-centered helicopter parents and frustrated ex-jocks in SUVs and vans charging up Walmart hill, forcing their semi-talented offspring to attend soccer, baseball, football & cheerleading practices and games, from March until November, from 9 in the morning until midnight.
Plenty of opportunities for you to try your intimidation act on unsuspecting Moms. You might even be able to take some more pictures of underage girls.

It also removes the land from the tax rolls. Something you'd bitch about endlessly if it wasn't your idea.
"Our tax dollars were spent acquiring this land and now our IDIOT politicians want to give it away."
Of course when you're taking the homestead exemption for the house you're living in I guess it doesn't matter.
Be careful what you ask for, fatsack.

Let us rephrase what you said.

PutnamLIES.com suggests that Halburn allow his second wife give up her land. Instead of holding it hostage for a king’s ransom that he will never get, cut the price to something more realistic, take the loss and get the hell out. This would not only eliminate the whining, but would attract more customers to Dollar Tree, Walmart, GameStop, and other nearby businesses. It would also make the Hurricane Marketplace a more attractive place for new businesses.

You say the greedy PCDA has been trying to sell our land, but there have not been any takers?
Well, we say that greedy Halburn has put an unreasonably high price on his second wife's property, but there have not been any takers.

The reason?
We suggest you take a look in the mirror, hypocrite.

And, BTW, we're NOT going to cut you a check, so don't even waste your time writing it.

Here Comes Marky Cottontail

Hoppin' down the Putnam Trail.



I just laid an egg. Hey! That's not chocolate!

Happy Easter everyone!!!

Halburn Pounds The Table

There's an old saying about the law.
If you have the facts on your side, pound the facts. If you have the law on your side, pound the law. If you have neither on your side, pound the table.

Well, with his trespassing appeal Halburn is pounding the table.
As much as Halburn has been in court, you'd think he'd know how it works.
Precedent.
A judge wants to know what past cases show that the law wasn't followed in this trial.
Not that the judge hurt your feelings or had a bad attitude.

Personally attacking the judge that found you guilty isn't going to help you either.

And your insistence that the law says that you get a whole new trial is ABSOLUTELY wrong.

Let's look at just what the law does say:

WEST VIRGINIA CODE §50-5-13.

(4) The circuit court may take any of the following actions which may be necessary to dispose of the questions presented on appeal, with justice to the defendant and the state:

(A) Dismiss the appeal;

(B) Reverse, affirm, or modify the judgment or order being appealed;

(C) Remand the case for further proceedings, with instructions to the magistrate;

(D) Finally dispose of the action by entering judgment on appeal; or

(E) Retain the matter and retry the issues of fact, or some part or portions thereof.

Those are the the choices Judge Kaufman has. Don't count on (E) to be his decision.
We're betting on (A).

And then where are you going to go?
The Supreme Court?
Oh, that's right, you can't go there because you're banned from there for making threats on employees.

Now, let's look at that "motion", shall we?

CAUSE FOR REVERSAL ONE:
Improper consideration of outside evidence by magistrate.
During Magistrate Carper-Strickland's verdict comments, she stated that "These deputies are road deputies'" and indicated that she did not believe they were In un-marked cars, which I testified. That
comment about being Road deputies'" was not part of the deputy's testimony. Carper-Strickland's statement indicates that she used personal knowledge from outside the courtroom in reaching her
verdict. Because of this, there is NO CHOICE but to reverse the verdict and to IMMEDIATELY remove Carper-Strickland from the bench for GROSS MISCONDUCT!

The bullshit starts from the get go.
Both deputies Vernon and Gaddy are "road deputies". That's what they do. Other than court bailiffs and Sheriff Department administrators, that's what every deputy does. Gets in a cruiser and patrols the roads. Keeping your fat ass safe from the criminals and perverts that you're obsessed with. As well as protecting you from the people that would like to whip your ass. This day however, they were participating in swimming training for the SWAT team. Doesn't change their job. They're road deputies.
Same as her knowing the difference between a beat cop and a detective.

CAUSE FOR REVERSAL TWO: Hostile environment.
From moment one, Carper-Strickland was extremely hostile, arrogant, condescending, and rude to me.
When I produced a copy of a motion that she did not have, at first she did not believe me, despite a court stamp. And she rudely (and improperly) scolded me for taking up a clerk's offer to forward a motion to the prosecutor. This despite the fact that there is a mailbox in the magistrate clerk's office set aside for documents to be forwarded to the prosecutor's office. Then she said "I will take care of this problem.'" News bulletin: The problem is that the prosecutor's office is blocks away with no public parking, including a lack of parking in front of the building. And the other problem is that Carper-Strickland's attitude and conduct was gross misconduct.

Not what the Supreme Court says:
"mere inefficiency, unsatisfactory conduct, failure in good performance as the result of inability or incapacity, inadvertencies or ordinary negligence in isolated instances, or good faith errors in judgment or discretion are not to be deemed "misconduct"."

CAUSE FOR REVERSAL THREE: Refusal to believe legitimate evidence. During my testimony, I presented a color photo of a sign that was on the door of the pool office. This photo of the sign which directed me to enter through the side gate was key to my case. Carper-Strickland said she flat out did not believe that the photo was legitimate. I presented this under oath. Carper-Strickland's refusal to believe physical evidence (because she obviously simply did not want to) is grounds for reversal of her guilty verdict and grounds to remove her from the bench and criminally prosecute her for gross misconduct.

You presenting evidence doesn't make it true. A picture could be taken anytime and is not evidence of anything. The judge looks at the evidence and determines what's credible.

What were you doing anyway? Driving down the road and thought, "It's hot, I'll think I'll stop in at a pool that's 20 miles from my house for a cool dip?"
Aren't there pools in Putnam County? Or are you banned from all of them?

A business that has a sign that says "Use Side Door" doesn't mean you can break that door down and go in when they're closed.



CAUSE FOR REVERSAL FOUR: Violation of 14th Amendment Equal Protection Rights Violation
I presented a motion for dismissal because my magistrate court case was not heard under the same fall term as Circuit Court cases; my 14th Amendment rights were clearly violated. carper-Strickland ignored this and railroaded me into a guilty verdict by denying my legitimate motion for dismissal. It was obvious that Carper-Strickland did not want to hear my argument and more obvious that she has no understanding of the 14th Amendment and its Equal Protection clause. In fact. I doubt that she has ever read the 14th Amendment.

Back to beating that 120 day horse again?
It was 170 days, not excessive.

WV Code 62-3-1 says:
"When an indictment is found...the accused shall be tried at the same term."

You, dipshit, were not indicted.

Here's what the court says:

For magistrate court misdemeanors, State ex rel. Stiltner v. Harshbarger, 170 W.Va. 739, 296 S.E.2d 861 (1982), is the leading case on when a defendant can move to dismiss due to an unreasonable delay. There are two rules set forth in this case: (1) the defendant must be brought to trial within one year; and (2) if the defendant is in jail or has requested a speedy trial, (s)he should be brought to trial within 120 days, unless the trial is continued for good cause.

If you wanted a speedy trial you should have filed a motion for a speedy trial. Not doing so makes it impossible for you to argue the delay.

CAUSE FOR REVERSAL FIVE: Refusal to recuse
Despite my filing of a motion to recuse based on a LEGITMATE conflict of interest within Carper's family, she refused to recuse herself. Even the PERCEPTION of a conflict was enough for grounds for recusal. Her arrogant refusal to recuse shows her misconduct. The best thing to do in a conflict of interest Is to walk away from the case and to hand it to an impartial magistrate. She called my request "absurd'" yet it is her refusal to recuse that is absurd. And her trial misconduct and comments and guilty verdict were ultimately absurd. Carper-Strickland's refusal to recuse is also grounds for reversal of her absurd guilty verdict and grounds for her IMMEDIATE removal from the bench and prosecution for GROSS MISCONDUCT.

Your motion for recusal says nothing about a conflict with any of Carper's family. All you show is a name on some on-line petition. Anyone could have signed that. You could have signed his name.
Your name on the NAMBLA site doesn't mean you actually support them.
She had no reason to recuse herself.

And smooth move criticizing this decision because it was ultimately approved by the judge you'll be going before in your appeal. It's like calling him a moron.

CAUSE FOR REVERSAL SIX: Carper allowed the incredible testimony of Deputies Gandy and Vernon who showed the largest case of "selective memory known to man. In addition to lying about giving me "five seconds" to leave the pool area, Vernon could not remember the color of my car (which he entered) as well as other key elements of what happened that day. His statement that he was conducting "Classified" training in a PUBLIC pool behind an UNLOCKED and UNPOSTED gate was astoundingly incredible. Richard Nixon, Charles Manson, and Richard Ramirez have more credibility than Gandy and Vernon. Carper-Strickland should have banished both from her courtroom instead of believing either or both. The fact that she allowed them both to testify is grounds for reversal of my verdict, IMMEDIATELY banishing her from the bench, and criminally prosecuting her.

What color your car is has no bearing on this case. Your car didn't trespass at the pool. His statement that he was conducting "Classified" training may have been incredible but it was true.

And you left Hitler and the Ayatollah off your list.

CAUSE FOR REVERSAL SEVEN: Failure to forward appeal.
On January 27th, 2010, IMMEDIATELY following Carper-Strickland's false guilty verdict. I signed appeal paperwork. On February 10th, I contacted the Magistrate Clerk's office to learn the hearing date and the name of the judge that it was assigned. I was told to contact circuit court because the case had been moved to circuit court. When I did, a clerk named Darla told me the case had not been forwarded. She also stated that the magistrate court regularly failed to forward appeals. Because my case was not properly forwarded, my right to a speedy appeal has been violated. The head magistrate clerk was not available, nor was the head court administrator, despite my call DURING NORMAL BUSINESS HOURS! (Why weren't these employees at work during business hours?) Again, this is grounds for dismissal of my case, reversal of verdict, and IMMEDIATE removal of Carper-Strickland and criminal prosecution. Obviously, with the above facts, my civil rights have been irrevocably violated by Carper-Strickland and the Kanawha County Magistrate Court's gross misconduct. There is no choice but to reverse my false guilty verdict and to IMMEDIATELY remove Carper-Strickland from the bench and to do the same with the magistrate clerks and the court administrator. They then should be aggressively prosecuted for their GROSS MISCONDUCT.

You have 20 days to file an appeal. It took 10 days for them to forward the paperwork. There's no delay there. You didn't file this motion until the 17th.
Again, you did not file a speedy trial motion so you lose on this one.
Someone there not taking your calls? Those people over there are busy. Not available doesn't mean they weren't there. When did you call? Maybe they were at lunch.

There was no "false guilty verdict". You were found guilty of trespassing in a court of law. Period. Nothing false about it.

CAUSE FOR REVERSAL EIGHT: Excessive fine
The fine of $250 is exorbitant and excessive. It is out of line for most trespassing fines and again shows Carper-Strickland's bias against me. It should be reduced to ZERO and instead, SHE should be fined, banished from the bench, and CRIMINALLY prosecuted. Her style of "justice" is a travesty to the court and a ripoff of the taxpayers of West Virginia. Furthermore, several elements of the fine are Regional Jail costs, and I was NOT an Inmate of the regional jail system. It is illegal to charge people for services that they did not receive. However, I have NO OBJECTION to Carper-Strickland being incarcerated in South Central and fined for her stay!

You could have been fined $500 AND gotten 6 months in jail. You got off easy, shitbag.

The Regional Jail fee is something everyone pays when they pay a fine. It's a law that was passed to help fund the jails. You have a problem with that take it up with the Legislature.

You know what I didn't see in any of this?
Anything showing ANY respect for the court. No respectfully request, prays, or or any language like that.
It's all NO CHOICE, GROSS MISCONDUCT, IMMEDIATE removal, aggressively prosecuted, etc, etc. with you.

What exactly should she be prosecuted for? Name the law she broke.
Not kissing Mark Halburn's fat ass is not a crime in West Virginia.

And you know something else? If you had any sense, you'd have asked for a jury trial. The likelihood of an acquittal is always greater before a jury than it is before
a magistrate.
Maybe you'd have gotten off but you knew they'd probably convict you anyway and you'd have to pay a jury fee. Once again, your cheap bastardism comes into play.

You're grasping at straws here. You're like the guy that gets a speeding ticket and then tries to get out of it by saying the cop wasn't wearing his hat.

The bottom line here is the pool was closed. You were told the pool was closed yet you continued to try to bull your way in. You picked the wrong day and fucked with the wrong person.

The pool's closed, bitch.
You're going to get your ass handed to you in court and we're going to be there to see it.

Letter To The Publisher

PutnamLIES.com received the following letter. We are altering our policy and will run it without comment.

Dear PutnamLIES.com readers,
It's time I come forward and say something. Over the past year several websites have been relentless in attacking me for my biased reporting and unethical behavior. And you know what? It pains me to say it but they are right. I am an asshole. That's right, I admit it. For too long I have been bullying women, harassing public officials and maligning businesses.

To that end I am today announcing the following:

1. The whole Walmart thing was nothing more than a ploy to annoy them into buying my wife's' house. We could have sold years ago and I prevented it because I thought we'd get more money once Walmart was built. I was wrong and I regret it every day.

2. She has sold the house. (The trash bloggers like to call her my second wife. I can now see the humor in that because I was always unfairly making fun of Mayor Edwards' marriages.) She didn't get what I wanted, but she's sick of hearing me complain about it.

3. I am shutting down my record setting news site immediately. (The trash bloggers like to call it a cluttered advertising shopper and I now see their point because it IS cluttered with ads.) Nobody paid for the ads anyway. I just put them there to make it look like I had sponsors.
You might remember that I put it up for sale several years ago but had no takers.
Well, there's a reason for that. It was really nothing more than a hobby that let me get into events and get food for free.

4. We are leaving the state immediately. I have decided to take a real full time job and no longer be a burden to my wife and family.
I realized that I am being a lousy example to my son. I could have had real jobs. I could have been saving for retirement. I could have been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am.
I hope they will forgive me for the years I've wasted on this pipe dream.

Finally, I would like to offer my humble apologies to everyone that I've abused, bullied or stalked (that means you "GOW". You're right. It wasn't a vacation) while I've been here: Walmart, AEP, PCDA, Scott Edwards, Steve Andes, Raymond "Joe" Haynes (I apologize to the Amish as well.), Mike Hall, Patti Schoen, Gary Walton, Ben Newhouse, Lee, Lenny, Tyler Hollywood, Tybois, Harry Stamper, Jerry Waters, Don Wright and his family, cheap chinese shoe manufacturers, all the great readers and commenters at PutnamLIES.com and everyone in Putnam County.

I see now that I have been wrong and I'm sincerely sorry.

Many Thanks and farewell!
Mark Hallburn
Ex-Publisher