WE WIN!

MARK HALBURN IS GONE!

Even though Halburn has left the state, he doesn't have a job in North or South Carolina. He claims he will work on PutnumLive.com from down south.

No matter, PutnamLIES.com will be here one day longer than his cluttered hate blog.

Guess who's 50 Today?

And Not A Thing To Show For It


Hallburn turns 50 today.
What's Marky getting for his birthday?
A BRAND NEW DIVORCE!
A NEW PLACE TO LIVE!

50 is a milestone.
Many people that age are starting to wind down and looking towards retirement.

Not old fatboy.
An average of 2 jobs a year since he started working doesn't put any money into the old retirement account.
He'll have to work until the day he dies. How ironic will it be when the only job he can get is saying "Welcome to Walmart"?



Happy birthday motherfucker.
Hope you don't have many more.

Now pack your bag and get out.

Walmart Neighbor Wants Out Of Marriage

HALBURN'S WIFE FILES FOR DIVORCE.
Mark Halburn says he'll shut down his blog and move.

Tired of the constant whining, the public embarrassment, the arrests, and the verbal humiliation, one neighbor of the Hurricane supercenter wants out of her marriage.

Mark Vance Halburn's wife filed for divorce on November 1 and a copy of the deed to her house was attached to the complaint. We hope Mrs. Halburn has a lawyer. You know he'll try and bully her into submission to get as much as he can.



Our Topix correspondent, sent along the following tidbit yesterday, posted there Monday night by none other than Mark Halburn, posing as "Newsguy Mark", under the heading of "Hallburns are divorcing".

Halburn writes,
"Before someone else announces it, I'm posting it here. All good things must come to an end, it seems. Tired of the Putnam County harassment, I am moving south. No adultery was committed. No more details, it's none of anybody's business. Show some class and leave it alone."

Well, that's not going to happen, fuckhead. No one's ever accused us of having any class, so let's just get right to it.

You say you're tired of the Putnam County harassment? And you're moving south? Great. We're tired of it too.
Have you already picked out someone new to harass down there? You should get in shape so it won't make you so tired this time.

Where are going to live? You have NO money. You should've thought this through before you once again tried your little sympathy kick. Or did you find a desperate semi-barren old maid on the internet to support you? Maybe someday you can buy YOUR third wife some cheap Chinese shoes.

And why even say "No adultery was committed" out of the blue? What brought that up?
You might as well have said "There is no taco salad" and it would have made as much sense.

Adultery? Hah! You haven't seen your cock in years.
How about mental cruelty?
We've seen how you treat women. We've seen how you bully and belittle people. Could it have been any different for your poor wife behind closed doors?

We can see that being prohibited from taking your child to the park can be a real marital strain. We can see getting fired (again) (you claim you quit, which would be even worse in this economy) from another job with benefits after only six months would cause problems. We can see that being publicly shamed for your behavior at the doctor's office might put a chill on things. The non-stop ranting and raving about trivial matters and all of your other juvenile behavior. It's cumulative. It takes a toll.
Maybe it was when you weren't at home in the evenings and things were so much nicer. Quiet. No chaos or drama. Reality finally strikes.

Looks like she finally reached her limit with you. After 13 years of your joblessness and being an impediment to life, she'd had enough.
She was totally taken in by you, which is how you sociopaths operate, which probably makes her all the more angry.

But on the other hand you've acted this way since you were married. She's seen how you behaved and saw how you were treated like a pariah and she went along with it, either by choice or by force.

PutnamLIES.com knew something was up a couple of months ago. He changed his Facebook status from "Married to DMH" to just "Married". Then she appeared to have defriended him on Facebook, plus his sister, his nieces and nephews ... all of them.

What's he going to do now? Change his status to "single" or "it's complicated"?

Then he goes on to say:

"I don't publish divorces on Putnum LIVE dot com. I am sure PutnamLIES will slime themselves some more by publishing it. Papers were supposed to be filed today. It's in the lawyer's hands.

I'm releasing the news here because I wanted SOME control over the inevitable publicity.

My plans are to move south and sell the news web site. I've already picked out a house that I will buy once the current one is sold.

The prospective new owner of Putnam LIVE dot com is a hard-hitting journalist that will give the bad guys that run this county nightmares that will surpass ANYTHING that I have done. The bastards will get what they deserve!"

You don't publish them but you've had plenty of snide comments to make about other people's divorces.
Believe me, assmunch, as soon as we get the papers we'll publish them.

You wanted to "release" this on the trailer park of the internet. How appropriate for you since you're lower than trailer trash.
Funny though that you didn't announce it on PutnumLive or Facebook. I guess you wanted someplace that more than 29 people would see. That sure will happen here.

You don't even have a claim on the house, asshole. Property acquired before marriage is not a marital asset. And, your name was never on the deed, as you insisted in pointing out at least five times in your deposition. Plus, your mother-in-law has an interest in the house as half owner. At most, all you'd be entitled to is 25% of the profits.

So, unless your second wife is so desperate to get away from you that she'd sell it for whatever she could get out of it and GIVE you some of it, all she owes you is a kick in your flabby ass as she sends you out the door, while she, her son and her Mother continue to live there. It'll be a lot more tolerable with you gone.

She's always been your meal ticket.
She works, cleans, cooks, takes care of the kid and she and her mother own the house. You can't hold a job because of your personality disorder. How are you going to survive in the real world without someone providing for you and wiping your ass?

It's about time she stopped putting up with your shit.

And then there's the son. The little boy that you've polluted and warped with your negative attitude. The only one that's truly innocent in this whole sordid mess.

Without you in the picture though, there's still hope for him. He's what 4? Get him away from you and he ought to smooth out in a few years. He has plenty of time. He'll forget a lot, because your broke ass won't come around often.He'll have a chance to start over if she drops the last name and moves to Kanawha County. If she's smart she'll petition the court to change the kid's name to give him a fighting chance. Going through life with the last name of Halburn would be like being the son of Charles Manson.You know you'll be a deadbeat dad. Collecting child support from you is going to be like pulling teeth.

God love her for giving that kid a chance. I hope she cuts all ties with you.

Then there's the house. Always the house.
That house isn't going to sell unless your second ex-wife accepts reality and puts a realistic price on it. $299,900 ain't going to do it. Reduced price? By $100? Please.

And then you bring up the Scott Edwards offer. But you never tell the truth about that.
The offer was the pre-Walmart appraisal of $149,000 plus 10%. That works out to about $164,000. You should have taken it. 100% of nothing is nothing. Which is what you have now.

Nobody wants your piece of shit opinion blog. The only thing that is worth a dime is the domain name and that's not worth much. The name is damaged goods.

Who are you going to sell it to? That hard hitting investigative reporter Jay Smith? Let him be the next one banned from everywhere. He already has the trespassing conviction to go along with it.

You know the really sweet thing? You're getting exactly what YOU deserve, you fat bastard. In public. The only thing better will be the day you pack up and leave town.

Adios, motherfucker.

As always, we invite Halburn to tell his side of the story or correct any inaccuracies, if he has the guts to.

PutnamLIES.com will have more as it becomes available.

UPDATE: 11/06
Here's the announcement as it appeared in the Sunday Gazette Mail.

Authorities Fear Halburn May Attempt To Disrupt Election!

ELECTION NEWS

DOMESTIC TERRORISTS SHOULD
BE DEALT WITH HARSHLY!

PutnamLIES.com's election coverage team has been informed that the Secretary of State's office warned Putnam County officials that Mark Halburn may attempt to create a scene and try to disrupt today's general election.
Click to enlarge the images.




If readers spot Halburn at any polling places or government offices they are invited to take HIS picture and send it to us.

Stroked Out!

HEALTH NEWS

According to a PutnamLIES.com source, Halburn was admitted to the hospital Monday suffering from what an initial diagnosis termed a "mild stroke". More tests are scheduled Tuesday to determine if this is the case.

Unfortunately, he is expected to live.
Sources now say it's Bell's Palsy. Well, he's going to wish he stroked out and died because half of his face will be broken. Look out son, Mr. Scary Face is here!




Then he blames...
everyone but himself.
He blames the Sheriff for arresting him and not paying his damage claims, disregarding the fact that he has never actually filed suit to get them.
He blames Joe Haynes for closing the pool at the same time every other pool in the valley closed, for not being allowed to swim whenever the fuck he wants and thinks a 50 year old pool fell apart in 4 years.
You want to see who's at fault, drooly? Just look in the mirror.

It's YOU.

You weigh 370 lbs, have high blood pressure and are a diabetic. You're a high-risk ball of fat who's at risk for repeated strokes. You sit on your big ass all day pretending to be a newsman and Google your name. Your only physical activity is waddling over to the window, shaking your fist and mumbling "excessive noise".

You're a goddamn mobile home with an anger management problem.

Nobody force fed you all those ding dongs and KFC and smacked you in the head until you went crazy.

And it's some else's fault?

It's all just a classic example of being unwilling to take any responsibility for your own actions.

As for the trash bloggers?

"I am sure they are cheering my misfortune." Hallburn says.
You're goddam right we are.

For once in his life, Halburn is right about something.

Whatever the ailment, we wish nothing but the worst to Halburn. Suffer, you drooling prick.

And the wishes start pouring in:


"A Stroke of Luck!"

Hi Mark! It's your ol' pal, Lee!

Karma's a bitch, isn't it? I believe this is God's way of telling you you're a dick.
Where to begin? First of all, it's true. We trash bloggers are all celebrating the fact you're that much closer to being the main course in the biggest pig roast Hell has ever seen. Second, once again you're blaming someone else for you being a fat ass!
We trash bloggers know you all too well, you're milking this for another sympathy angle. We also know that you have a track record of being full of shit, however, a simple phone call to the hospital can confirm all of this.
I can't help but laugh, cackle, and snort at you pointing fingers at everybody else that you can't exercise. What you, and alot of people probably don't know is, is this link I found dated a couple years ago:
http://www.putnumlive.com/SAVINGMYLIFEAJourney.html
(ed note: Sorry Lee, we don't link to shithead's site, no matter how amusing the pictures may be. But readers can get the gist of the story and the pictures on Tyler Hollywood's page: http://tylerhollywood.wordpress.com/2010/10/15/the-transformation-of-mark-halburn/)

You were gonna "Beat the Beetis!", weren't you? That lasted, what...two weeks? You had pictures of yourself taken working out...YOU WERE A BEAST!!! That first Rocky montage and music were going through your head, you were gonna get sliced like some professional wrestler!! But......something happened, didn't it? The fact that you're a lazy fat fuck happened. That fact that you don't want to work for anything happened. You missed your buckets of KFC and Nutter Butters!!
Fast-forward a few years later, people are riding your enormous backside for your bullying, lies, harassment, and general douchebaggedry. You start sweating more than usual, you start stressing and getting angrier that people are catching you in your lies, and most of all, a hot piece of ass stationed in our nation's capital has bested you. Oh yeah, you try calling local authorities, you try rallying a bunch of heifers on your side with claims that a 50 year old man is being bullied, your riding the coattails of young people committing suicide because dicks at their schools are giving them shit for something, you're doing ANYTHING to protect yourself and your lies, and you keep getting more stressed and angry to the point where your blood pressure is rising to dangerous levels. All of a sudden, your face starts to droop and your arm goes numb...

Like all of your "news" stories, it has holes in it. You claim that quacks at the hospital said you may have had Bell's Palsy, what you didn't mention is that having diabetes, because you're too lazy to exercise and eat mountains of food, triggers Bell's Palsy. It's no one's fault but yours, Mark. Again, you want to blame others for your misfortunes. You were convicted in a court-of-law for trespassing. Whatever pool you want to swim in, you have to follow the rules, but then again, this has all been said before. You know the rules, your bitch tit nipples just got all irritated when they didn't bend to your paper demands.
Now look at ya, playing the sympathy card again because you're a miserable fat fuck. I'll let you in on a little secret, Mark. I have lost over 70lbs. How did I do it? The old fashioned way, exercising! Plus, my job, you know...something you DON'T have...requires me being on my feet 8 hours a day. Drinking nothing but water helps, and jogging/walking for 3 hours at a local park helps, too...plus pumping a little iron thrown in for good measure. I worked at it...and working at something is something that's foreign to you.
You're lying in a hospital bed, what I assume is a bariatric bed because you are stupid as you are wide, blaming others but yourself. You know what all this is called, Markie boy? Your shit catching up to you! But, I could type until my fingers bleed, it won't get through to you because you know everything! Everyone is out to get you! We trash bloggers could care less...we already have a "death pool" going on as to when you finally do keel over. So, keep walking the path you're on, fat boy! The devil and all his friends are licking their chops!


If any other readers have any wishes for Li'l Marky send them to: putnamlies.com@gmail.com and we'll make sure they're passed along.

Hallburn Calls Haynes A "Bitch"

Community gadfly and all around pain in the ass Mark Halburn has stooped to a new low.
Today he posted this on an internet forum:



That's a new low even for a mongoloid like Halburn.
Karen Haynes has done nothing but good for Putnam County. Her hard work and community involvement should be applauded not belittled.
Especially from someone of Halburn's ilk.

But this just shows the lengths Halburn will go to in order to get back at those who will not do his bidding.
His petty vendetta against Joe Haynes is one thing, but to attack his wife is beyond the pale.

You're a sad pathetic little man who will never amount to anything, Halburn. Except a thorn in the side of all decent people. If she were my wife, I'd kick your ass from one end of the county to the other.

You are a disgrace and an embarrassment to the human race.
You owe Karen and Joe Haynes a public apology.

We started PutnamLIES.com to do one thing: Expose the lies that Mark Halburn was printing everyday on his blog. The LIES we're talking about are his.
Now that we've been doing it for over a year, he doesn't seem to like it very much.
Advertisers have left and his readership numbers, which were greatly exaggerated in the first place, are WAY down. His whining blog about Walmart has come to an end. We saw to that. He's slipped into utter irrelevance because of us and it kills him.
But our job's not over. Mission accomplished? Not by a long shot.

People are now asking him about us. Why else would he call attention to us on his blog?

We really got under his thin skin with our last story by pointing out his seven high schools remark.

Well, we're gonna have our say here, fatsack.

Not counting Christian schools doesn't make us anti-Christian. Most people in the county don't count them and couldn't even name them. Unless you have a kid there they're an afterthought.
They have a total enrollment of maybe 200 high school students between the three of them. Insignificant.
There are almost 3000 students in Putnam County high schools.

How many high school students are home schooled in the county? We didn't count them either. We guess that makes us anti-home school in your eyes.

We eat bacon too, does that make us anti-Semitic?

The only anti we are is anti-YOU, numbnuts.

And from now on, you fat prick, when you write about us, put in the link to our page so your readers can see the truth about you, just like the people at Trader Joe's did.
Yeah, that's right. They came here to read about you.

We're putting you, your "advertisers" and anyone else you promote on notice. We are going to parody and belittle all of you. If you don't want it done don't associate with Halburn. He is a boil on the ass of civilized society and we're here to lance it.

We at PutnamLIES.com wear Halburn's opprobrium like a badge of honor.

HALBURN WON'T ADMIT WALL WILL NOT STOP NOISE

Assclown Does Not Understand The Laws Of Physics

For years, Hurricane asshole Mark Halburn has told anyone that would listen the that the city needs to order Walmart to build a sound wall.


Halburn enjoys the view from his front yard of the wall that he hopes someone will build for him.

The neighbors have accurately said that his crying has contributed greatly to noise levels and that the loudmouth has been throwing up false arguments to generate sympathy for himself and publicity for his failing website.

As he has used lame arguments to get the sound wall, Halburn has bullied council members and other politicians who wouldn't buy his rhetoric, including C. Brian Ellis and West Virginia State Senator W. "Mike" Hall. All along, Halburn has refused to provide any scientific evidence or statements from sound engineers that a "sound wall" has any impact on sound waves.

Of course, anyone with common sense knows that the reason Halburn never produced any evidence or sound engineer opinions is that there isn't any.

Now, PutnamLIES.com has a recording of Edwards admitting that Halburn is lying in his article.

"I've said nothing different to him for a long time, other than for him to get away from me or to get out of my face," said Edwards. "Looks like a made up story again."

Now that Edwards has finally spoken the truth on the issue, it remains to be seen if Hurricane City Council members will continue to put up with Halburn's shit or run his fat ass out of town.

Halburn claims that Realtors have advised the neighbors that keeping the commercial zoning will make it easier to sell their homes. However, none of them have had any offers under the current zoning and none are actively marketing their property.

About 15 lawsuits have been filed over construction blasting and construction noise. Halburn lost his lawsuit last year.

Edwards is a member of the Putnam County Development Authority Board of Directors which put together the Walmart project and served as a non-elected Hurricane City Council Member when the Walmart was planned. He was elected mayor in 2007 in an election that included a number of disputed ballots in unsealed envelopes. After both the required canvass and a recount requested by the challenger, the final tally showed Edwards was the winner, whereupon the loser challenged the results.
The WV Supreme Court found that the ballot dispute was a moot point because Edward's challenger failed to file his challenge in a timely manner.

PutnumLlVE.com has alleged that the City of Hurricane changed the zoning without the neighbor's knowledge or permission, up to four decades after they bought their homes, but has provided no proof of those charges

Halburn alleges that Edwards refuses to put the Walmart sound wall and trees on the city council agenda.
The question should be asked, just how often does this need to be brought before Council?
Halburn brought it before Council twice in Dec 09, after which the city contacted Walmart and was told in no uncertain terms that the company had no intention of building or allowing others to build a sound wall on their property.


He then brought it up again the very next month, in January of this year.
Thinking that, for some twisted reason, the city should build the wall.
Walls and trees are not the city's responsibility.

This means one man, Halburn, is preventing an entire neighborhood from having peace and quiet by his incessant non-stop whining about Walmart.

Halburn used to publish a daily diary chronicling the daily excessive noise. However, he has pulled it at least four times because he couldn't take the criticism originating here and on Tyler Hollywood's site that made light of his imagined problems and insane rantings. It reappears from time to time after people stop paying attention to him. The last few times he has hidden it with no links to it.

Councilwoman Lana Call says "The city can't afford it."
Halburn ducks the real issue: personal responsibility.
He refuses to be responsible for his own problems.

It's quiet..Yeah, too quiet.

No News Is Good News



You may have noticed a marked decrease in articles here at PutnamLIES.com.
Well, there's a good reason for that.
It's because that asshole that runs that cluttered internet shopper, Halburn, has cut way back on his douchebaggery.
He's just not writing anything.
Which is a good thing. That means we've been doing OUR job. Which has been all along to force him to act in a more civilized manner. Before he started getting pounded from all sides he was free to attack anyone for any reason without repercussions.
Not anymore.
And now his output shows it.

But as we all know, it's only a matter of time before he snaps again and makes an ass of himself, so we shouldn't have to wait long.
Something usually happens once every summer.

Whattaya Mean, I Can't Come In?

I'm a journalist. Look, I even have my own camera.
Why won't you let me in?
I've never been fired from here before.
Hey! I know somebody's in there. Hello?

Do I Get To Make An Opening Statement?

PutnamLIES.com's legal correspondent was present in court for Halburn's trespassing appeal.
We thought we'd recap some of the exchanges between Judge Kaufman and Halburn to demonstrate Halburn's legal brilliance.

Halburn (to Deputy Vernon): Why did you have your firearm when there's a sign that says no firearms?
Kaufman: What does that have to do with anything?
Halburn: Apparently he was breaking the law.
Prosecutor: He's authorized. He's a law enforcement officer.
Halburn: Is there an exclusion?
Kaufman: It doesn't matter! It's irrelevant!


Kaufman: Ever been to this pool before?
Halburn: No. I don't live in Kanawha County.



Kaufman: But you've been to other public pools?
Halburn: I've been to other public pools.

You've been to other public pools all right. The visit usually involves you leaving in handcuffs.

Kaufman: Hot August day. How many people would you say, in the middle of the afternoon, on a Saturday in August, were in the pool?

Halburn: A half dozen or more.
Kaufman: A half dozen or more on a Saturday afternoon in August. In a place you knew was a public pool. No manager, no employees, Any cars?
Halburn: There were several.

It's a 90 degree day in August (warm, you call it), yet there were no patrons at the pool. Didn't that seem a little odd to you, asswipe? Like you're the only one with the idea to go swimming.


Kaufman: Let me get back to the trespassing thing
Halburn: There was no trespass!



Kaufman: He made all that up? Nothing the sheriff said was true because he was so upset that you caught him swimming?
Halburn: I didn't catch him swimming. I walked in there to swim in a public pool with a sign that invited me in. I wasn't trying to catch anybody.
Kaufman: How can that make anyone upset unless they were nude swimming with another guy or another girl?


Kaufman: If my memory serves me most public pools are closed that last week in August because the lifeguards go back to school.


Kaufman: Why is it that you feel you had a right or some entitlement to ask them anything- the people that were swimming?
Halburn: I thought there were people swimming in the pool.
Kaufman: There were people swimming in that pool but it was none of your concern.


Kaufman: You've got this in a picture in your mind that's very favorable to yourself that you weren't doing anything wrong.
Halburn: I wasn't.
Kaufman: That's what you think.
Halburn: That's what I know.

That's right, Pee Wee Herman, argue with the judge. That'll get you real far.




Halburn: Had that sign not been posted I would not have gone in the pool.
Kaufman: Don't you think that this is for people who pay or have a right to go in there?
Kaufman: This is not trespassing because the sign said to go around?
Halburn: The sign says enter through the gate.
Kaufman: The gate was open & you didn't pay any money, and someone was in the pool?
Halburn: I also didn't go swimming.
Kaufman: You weren't cited for swimming.


Kaufman: He didn't look like he was there to give directions to the public did he? Honestly?
Halburn: He didn't look like an officer. He had no identification. I had no idea until he put the cuffs on me. He looked like a civilian. I thought he was joking with me.

It's all fun and games until someone gets handcuffed.
At this point I think the judge had enough and started fucking with Halburn.

Kaufman: Was he under water or above water when you asked him?Halburn: He was underwater when I first approached him and he popped up and he was above when I asked him. I didn't ask him where the manager was so I could pay, I asked him where the manager was and I would ask the manager where to pay.Kaufman: Had he taken a breath when you asked him?Halburn: I don't recall how many breaths. He appeared to have taken a breath.Kaufman: He caught one breath on his way up?Halburn: I don't know.
Kaufman: Was he in good shape, this fella?
Halburn: He appeared to... a lot of people are in shape that aren't deputies.
Kaufman: I mean he was in phenomenal shape, wasn't he?
Halburn: I wouldn't say phenomenal, but I'm not a physical fitness expert.



Halburn: He had no identification.
Kaufman: Of course he didn't, underwater?
Halburn: On his wetsuit, no identification.
Kaufman: He had a wet suit on. That should be enough.
Halburn: I've seen people swim in public pools in wetsuits.
Kaufman: 6 of 'em on an August day?




Halburn: I can see where this is going.

So do we.
Guilty.
Again.
Halburn must read Bartlett's on a regular basis. How else could he demonstrate two adages at once. "A man who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client." and "It is better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

He's too cheap to hire a lawyer and too stupid to keep his mouth closed.

Halburn Forced To Pull Ad

Halburn likes to pretend that he's compassionate by running ads for nonprofit organizations.

Well, there's one group that doesn't want Halburn's charity.
That's Beyond The Backyard.
Founded by Charleston attorney Bobby Warner, Beyond the Backyard is a youth organization dedicated to introducing kids to outdoor activities such as hunting, fishing, mountain biking, mountain climbing, hiking and camping.
Some time ago, Hallburn approached Warner's business begging for sponsorship, and they told him they weren't interested. In their reply was the logo for the Beyond The Backyard program.
Halburn then stole the logo and placed it on his website. It has been there for at least a year.
Warner was asked last week if he authorized its placement on Halburn's site. He said that he in no way did so, and would have it removed immediately.
This all happened Friday May 7. On Saturday May 8, the ad was gone.
It's amazing what a cease and desist letter can do.
Don't steal a lawyer's logo, dummy!

PutnamLIES.com and others have long wondered how many ads and logos have simply been stolen and placed on his site to make it look legitimate.
We know for a fact that a certain radio stations logo was there for a long time until they finally demanded that he remove it. We also know of a large pizza and breakfast chain that is afraid to pull their ads for fear of negative reporting.

If your business' logo appears on his site, contact Halburn immediately and demand that it be removed.

This kind of thing demonstrates just how low Halburn will stoop.
He's a fucking thief.

UPDATE: Halburn now claims that Warner’s "PR guy" (notice he can't provide a name) approached HIM to run a story. He claims that he personally met with him at Warner’s law office. He says that he interviewed the "PR guy" who provided photos and the logo after Halburn offered to run it free of charge.

Unfortunately for Halburn, the truth is that the "story" he ran was nothing more than a press release which he published verbatim. There was no interview with the "PR guy". It's all the same bunch of bullshit that we've come to expect from him.

MARK HALBURN CONVICTION UPHELD!

Kaufman Affirms Magistrate Decision
Still Guilty!



Mark Vance Halburn remains a convicted trespasser.



That's the decision of Kanawha County Circuit Court Judge Tod Kaufman who affirmed Halburn's conviction after a hearing on Wednesday, May 5th.

Halburn was convicted in January in Magistrate court in connection with a trespassing incident that occurred at the Shawnee Park Swimming Pool in Institute on August 30, 2009. He then appealed that conviction to Circuit court.


That's right folks. This is the algae filled pool Halburn wanted to swim in!

Things went bad for fatsack almost immediately when Kaufman denied all of his "motions".

Prosecutors said Halburn forced his way into the pool where the Kanawha County Sheriff Department's SWAT team was holding scuba practice, demanded to swim and when informed that the pool was closed to the public, became agitated and refused to leave.

Halburn shook his head repeatedly during Deputy J. M. Vernon's testimony as the officer stated that Halburn was ordered to leave multiple times, became aggressive and refused to remove his hands from his pockets.

The deputy also pointed out that the water was algae filled and the water level was low.
Halburn tried countering that statement by asking, "It wasn't appropriate for me but it was OK for you?"
Only Halburn would want to swim in an slimy algae pool just because someone said he couldn't.

During his testimony, Halburn, as he is wont to do, chose the fact that there was a sign that read, "Please Enter Through Side Gate" to use as his main rebuttal point, over and over again.

Judge Kaufman would have none of that.
"You didn't pay, you didn't own the pool, it wasn't your property, there wasn't anyone there to give you permission and your whole defense was you had a right to be there because that sign was there. There was nothing to say the pool was open. That's the whole point. The fact that you can get in doesn't make it open."

PutnamLIES.com made this very point last month in our article "Halburn Pounds The Table."

In his typical sympathy ploy, Halburn repeatedly pointed out the he is a 47 year old, 300 pound (that's perjury right there) diabetic that just wanted to go swimming on a warm August day. Halburn was acting as his own lawyer and after the verbal bitchslapping he received from the judge for bringing up irrelevant matters, he seemed to be so stymied that he never brought up the "judicial misconduct" he claimed tainted his first trial. All he could do was keep babbling "the sign, the sign" in a stuttery, high pitched voice. Maybe next time maybe he should call Lee's buddy Matlock.

Ultimately, Kaufman decided Halburn had trespassed and upheld the conviction from Magistrate court.Originally, Halburn was fined $250 plus $159 in court costs. Judge Kaufman said, "Essentially you're appealing a 409 dollar and 50 cent case."
Halburn whined that the fine was excessive and Kaufman reduced it to $100 plus costs, which Halburn being Halburn, tried to argue as well. So now we'll have to hear about how he beat the system or some kind of bullshit like that.

Halburn, who is also goes by the aliases of Hallburn and the Putnam Pool Boy, calls himself the "publisher" of a cluttered internet advertising shopper in Putnam County. He also moonlights as a substitute teacher.
He has a number of previous arrests including strong arm robbery, harassment and trespassing.

The case number is: 10M-AP-3.
You can get the case file HERE.

You can listen to the full audio recording HERE.
Also available on YouTube

You want a sign?
Here's your fucking sign, fatboy:



We'll go Deputy Vernon one better when he said, "Go back to Putnam County"
Go back to California.


We'll have more later.

RELATED STORIES:
Putnam Pool Boy Arrested Again! 
This Is The City
Mark Hallburn Conviction Upheld 
Do I Get To Make An Opening Statement?
Audio Transcript of The Trial
Audio Transcript of The Trial on YouTube

Halburn Arrested Again For Telephone Harassment
Halburn Cops Plea In Harassment Case

DENIED!

Here's a story you'll see only on PutnamLIES.com..

On January 14, The Supreme Court of Appeals of West Virginia refused 5-0 to hear the appeal of the circuit court’s order granting summary judgment for the defendant City of Hurricane on Halburn’s claim of retaliatory selective enforcement of a municipal ordinance.
In June the circuit court dismissed the City of Hurricane as a defendant. This was Halburn's appeal of that decision.
This was a total smackdown for Halburn. Not one justice thought the case had any merit.
You lose, shitbag.

Halburn's case against Cleveland Construction was settled in November of last year. The terms of that settlement are sealed, but it is known that Halburn went on a $1000 spending spree at the end of last year. That was real lucrative, fatboy. The lawyer and Uncle Sam will walk away with more than you got. Don't forget the taxes on that money, leech.


The case was Delores Halburn and Mark Halburn v. City of Hurricane, West Virginia, a municipal corporation, Ben Newhouse, individually and in his capacity as City Manager for the City of Hurricane, Cleveland Construction, Inc. d/b/a Cleveland Construction, Inc. of Nevada, and Kanawha Stone Company, Inc. - No. 091568.