Photograph courtesy of PutnamEYES.com staff psychic
KFC has announced that Monday,Oct. 26, more than 5,000 KFCs will give every U.S. customer a free piece of grilled chicken.
In a shocking turn of events, Colonel Harland Sanders, founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken, vowed today he would return from the dead to personally feed the free chicken to Mark Hallburn.
"I've had just about enough of his shit", Sanders said from beyond the grave.
"I saw how he behaved last time so I'm going over to his hovel to feed him personally this time.
And to be honest, he really isn't the kind of customer we want coming into our restaurants. The other customers complain about his smell, his lip smacking and the grease dripping off his chin.
If it takes me coming back from that big tub in the sky to keep him away, it will be worth it to keep our other customers happy.
I may hit the fat bastard with my cane just for good measure."
This will be the third time in six months that the chain is offering a giveaway to promote its Kentucky Grilled Chicken that had its debut last spring.
This will be the first time Sanders has risen from the grave.
Special update from Tyler Hollywood:
Tonight (10/24) on the Bad Side Live.
The Mark Halburn is Eating Free Chicken sighting segment.
With KFC kicking off it's newest giveaway, we all know where greasy hands are gonna be. Only question is, where and how many.
Call, text or email your sightings into the show!
www.talkradiox.com
Tonight at 11.
I think they really should enforce the "One per customer" rule!
ReplyDeleteBTW....NICE Photoshop work! CLASSIC!
Best photoshop...EVEAH!
ReplyDeleteBad photoshop work. The Colonel is feeding me a piece of FRIED chicken in your badly edited photo. The giveaway is for GRILLED chicken. And I suspect the photo is another copyright violation on your part-like the Qadaffy Duck cartoon.
ReplyDeleteThis just in, GOW, Tyler, JoAnn, and Lee are camping out next to the Hurricane KFC waiting for their free chicken Monday!
ReplyDeleteHAHA, awesome! For the record, the photoshop job is brilliant.
ReplyDeleteAnd Mark, instead of spending the week bombarding Pepsi with phone calls and emails trying to get Mike in trouble, why dont you spend that time teaching Mathhew to talk, you know saying words like lettuce, carrotts and peas?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahaaaaaa............
Mike:
ReplyDeleteYou're not too bright. One doesn't have to look closely at the photo to realize that it is FRIED chicken instead of grilled. During the Colonel's lifetime, KFC NEVER SERVED GRILLED CHICKEN!
And, no, you can't use a copyrighted photo for a parody blog. You'll learn that as soon as Yum's lawyers contact you.
Mark, no one cares that it is grilled or fried chicken, the pic is funny and well done, you have to give him that.
ReplyDeleteI knew as soon as you made that copyright comment that you would make it your lifes mission to try and get him into trouble for it, because that is what you do, you are a trouble maker that no one likes, has respect for or can even stand to be around. Even the people that you think are your "friends" dispise you behind your back. They just pretend to like you so they can use you to promote their own agenda.
LOL, love the crybaby comment. That psyc eval GOW posted was probably one of the greatest things ever.
ReplyDeleteAnd Mark, before you go spewing off at your greasy mouth, your crybaby comment was made by you in that evaluation.
No, it wasn't. It was attributed to me by a hired gun who was paid by our enemy in court. Even you should be smart enough to figure that out. Should be, but obviously you are not.
ReplyDeleteSOMEBODY'S always out to get you, aren't they?
ReplyDeleteYou're calling two medical doctors liars?
Your continuing behavior proves their diagnosis exactly no matter who hired them.
I'd venture to say if you had the guts to hire a shrink, he'd say the exact same thing.
Do you really want to reopen this whole can of worms, nutball?
Last night (10/24/09) on The Bad Side we had 2 Mark Halburn KFC Sightings! The first came in about 12:30AM as Halburn was no doubt in early training in multiple KFC hit, run and evade tactics. Jeremy from Pittsburg, PA reported Halburn slithering under the trailer home just after midnight. This is unconfirmed because, as the listener stated "it was some kind of vermin, at least." There was a strong odor of chicken present, however.
ReplyDeleteThe second sighting came nearly an hour later, this one confirmed. Mark Halburn KFC Watch road team leader, Jason (an intern at the Bad Side) spotted Halburn "pitching a tent" outside the Washington Ave KFC in Huntington. An interview was rebuffed when Halburn responded to the jiggle of his tent flap with a tirade of "Noise! I hate noise! I can't stand the noise!" Jason could only speculate why he chose Washington Ave as the first target, when Teays Valley in Hurricane is much closer.
Umm, yeah Mark, right. We all know that if that Doc had put that in his eval and you did not say it, you would have sued him for malpractice.
ReplyDeleteNow you want to say he was making up that you said your sister has problems and has had abortions too? You know she can sue him for defamation of character? LOL, but we all know what that dr put in his notes is accurate, even if you do not know, everyone else does.
Seriously Mark, for the sake of what is good and Holy, get some help, Matthew deserves it, dont you think?
His sister?
ReplyDelete"She's nuts."
That gene pool is REAL shallow.
The more all of you rant, the more it becomes obvious you are certifiably obsessed with me. Get a life. Get help. Get both very, very soon.
ReplyDeleteSays the guy that's legitimately certifiable.
ReplyDeleteAre you talking to yourself again, or is it just the voices in your head?
You know who I feel sorry for?
Your miserable wife and your pathetic son.
It must be a living hell to be in the same house with you every day. Although the insane often fool their loved ones into thinking there's nothing wrong. Everybody loved John Wayne Gacy.
Do us all a favor and drive into a bridge abutment.
Mike:
ReplyDeleteYou guys are OBSESSED with me. You have harassed me, my employer, my family, created about six web sites to harass me, falsely accused me of copyright violations (when YOU violated the Qadaffy Duck copyright, and, probably now, the Colonel Sanders) I have been (falsely) accused of tax evasion, stealing images, etc. You call me a bully (while bullying me online and by harassing my employer. You harass my sponsors (who CONTINUE to support me!)
YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tyler:
ReplyDeleteYou're lying again. I wasn't at any KFC in months. Just like you lied about GOW calling into your show the night I was on, and just like you lied about that Walmart in Williston.
Please revise the selections on the favorite name for the publisher poll to include an "All of the above" choice.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't think of that until someone had voted for one of the choices.
ReplyDeleteBy then it was too late, it won't let you change or add things after someone has voted.
Next time though.
Many thanks for your suggestion though!
The funny thing, Halburn? You say we're "obsessed" with you... but YOU visit this site every day. YOU visit GOW's site everyday. YOU visit my site with some frequency. YOU visit Lee's site frequently. YOU are obsessed. Not us. Go hang yourself with some fishing line.
ReplyDeleteother sites:
ReplyDeletewww.putnamlive.blogspot.com
http://www.putnamlive.blogspot.com
www.MarkHallburn.com
www.MarkHalburn.com... To list a few.
And I've never lied about either Andes, Edwards, Hall, Haynes, Schoen, or Walton. They are ALL Walmart sellouts who allowed our neighborhood to be destroyed to support the Communist Chinese. They COULD have forced Walmart to put upo a soundwall to mitigate the blasting, construction and trsffic noise and lights. INSTEAD, they turned their selfish political backs on their constituents to support an Arkansas business and Ohio contractor. Political scum runs Putnam County! Civilized people don't blas their neighbors or allow it to happen! Putnam County isn't run by civilized people. Neither is this blog.
I have nothing to do with www.MarkHallburn.com or www.MarkHalburn.com.
ReplyDeleteYou, on the other hand,nutsack, could have prevented all of this simply because, and I quote, "You once were offered a buy out, but refused it because you thought the property would have more value after the completion of the Wal-Mart".
You greedy fuck.
Ever heard the term "greater good"?
A politician's job is to look out for the interests of ALL of Putnam County, not just a handful of self centered homeowners.
Civilized people realize this.
This is ALL your fault and now you want to blame everybody.
Look in the mirror, if you can find one large enough, and you'll see the real scum staring back at you.
"A politician's job is to look out for the interests of ALL of Putnam County." That means taking steps to protect neighbors from excessive noise and traffic. Like the politicians did in Barboursville, Williston, Vermont, Florida, Atlanta, and Huntington Beach, California. Real leaders in those cities realize you can have a Walmart AND protect the citizens living nearby.
ReplyDeleteThe scumbag Putnam County politicians don't understand the concept of citzen's rights because they are too busy inhaling the aroma of money.
Still beating the excessive noise dead horse?
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the 21st century. Get used to it. Life is noisy.
There is no excessive noise associated with that Walmart.
None.
It's nothing more than the sounds associated with everyday life.
I visit that store at least a couple times a week and there is virtually NO noise because there are very few customers.
The real scumbag is the guy that has done nothing but complain and blame others.
The real scumbag is the guy who has taken no action on his own to improve his situation.
Bitch & moan & blame someone else.
You're the poster boy for what's wrong with America today. The leeches want the producers to provide everything. And you are a leech.
You ran out on your debts by filing bankruptcy. Your wife owns the house and supports you. The only thing missing is a federal bailout.
Like it or not, until you sell that shithole you live in, it's ultimately up to you to fix the problem. Plant some trees or build your own damn wall. But that would cost your wife money.
Get over it. You fucked up. Accept it and move on.
Hey Mark!
ReplyDeleteWal-Mart's selling caskets now! Perhaps if you tell them you're sorry for being a douche they'll donate one to your family...do caskets come in 10XL?
Ya know what's funny? Mark addresses people here in quotations, i.e. our esteemed publisher, "Mike." But Mark never hides behind other names, isn't that right "Sal Marino", "Dawn", "Putnam Johnny" or whatever else his blubber brain can think of.
Tyler Hollywood has more Halburn KFC sightings!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.trx.mydigitaledge.com/node/9082