Area Thieving Bastard Steals Senator Ed Gaunch’s column

Out-of-state publisher Mark Halburn has plagiarized yet another article to run in his fake news hate blog.
This time it’s right out of the Gazette-Mail. This was the only news outlet in which Gaunch’s article appeared.
Gaunch confirms he did not send the op-ed to Halburn.

“Mark Halburn is a liar.”

Nowhere in the column on Halburn’s blog does he acknowledge that it is from the Gazette-Mail or provide a link to the original.
It’s just blatant theft from a blatant thief.

https://www.wvgazettemail.com/…/article_b0cf8c95-0142-55a0-…

Then, on  July 19, the plagiarist doubled down and made this statement:

 

False accusation? Hardly.

A spokesperson for the Gazette Mail confirms that they did not receive Gaunch’s column until July 10. It ran on the 11th.

Halburn didn’t share the link until July 16. So he wants us to believe he left it sitting there 8 days without promoting it? Right.
Halburn is so desperate to drive traffic to his site that he pimps any of his stories as soon as he publishes them.

Amazing how Halburn claims he published an article before it was even written.
He must have hopped in the Delorean and gone ahead in time.

So the delusional liar is delusional. And a thief.

Halburn Plagiarizes Carmichael Response

Fat bag of dicks literally steals from the Gazette. Again.

Once again, Mark Vance Halburn has blatantly plagiarized another newspaper article from the Charleston Gazette-Mail.
This time it is a response from Senate President Mitch Carmichael to an AFL-CIO authored op-ed that ran in the paper on  March 21st.

And in plagiarizing it from the Gazette, Halburn eliminated the context in the first paragraph because he had to conceal what Carmichael was writing in response to. He removed the hyperlink as well as the title of that story.

It's not like it was a general letter to the editor that Halburn could steal and then pass off that it was sent to his blog. It was a direct response to an op-ed that ran only in the Gazette.

There is no way in the world that the President of the West Virginia Senate would  send that article to him as a letter to the editor responding to an op-ed in the Gazette. What would be the point of that?

Halburn is a guy who has never missed an opportunity to bully, threaten, harass, and jam a camera in the face of a person who has the misfortune of representing the district where Halburn's fake blog is based. When it comes time to clear the air, that's certainly not going to be the first place Carmichael runs to get the message out.

Halburn ends the stolen article with a "Publisher's note" which reads in part, "The columnist’s expressed opinions and information provided are his own..."
They weren't provided, you dipshit. You stole them.

Halburn continues to demonstrate his lack of ethics and integrity by plagiarizing text and publishing it, and by lying to his “readers” by acting like it was sent to him as a letter. 

A practice like this is business at its absolute worst, practiced by an immoral charlatan masquerading as a journalist. Halburn will stoop to the lowest, most vulgar, vile, and disgusting ploys to deceive the honest, hard-working citizen. He is the lowest form of scum on the face of the earth.

Serial Plagiarist Back On The Loose

Halburn Plagiarizes Sunday Gazette Article

Once again PutnamLIES.com has uncovered another blatant theft of material by Mark Vance Halburn. This time it comes from the Sunday Gazette-Mail
Halburn's M.O. is to take text from an opinion article or news story and claim it's a letter sent by a reader.
In another demonstration of his desperation, he has resorted to his old practice of journalism: plagiarism and theft of intellectual property.



He has lifted word for word an article that ran on the Sunday Gazette-Mail's opinion page.



Halburn continues to demonstrate his lack of ethics and integrity by plagiarizing text and publishing it, and by lying to his "readers" by acting like it was sent to him as a letter. And then he tops it off with a little Facebook stalking, by swiping one of her profile pictures.

Strange that the article doesn't appear in any other media outlet anywhere.
There is no way in the world that a WVU student from Summersville would even know his third rate, fake news hate blog even existed, much less send that article to him as a letter to the editor.

It takes a thief.
Same old Halburn.
Fucking scumbag.

Stealing Material Once Again

Which Dunbar Blogger is stealing material again?

Halburn sometimes runs editorial cartoons on his little blog. (He used to have a subscription to a cartoon service but wasn't making enough money to renew it.)
He recently ran one drawn by Jim Morin of the Miami Herald and syndicated by the New York Times/CWS Syndicate.

The problem?
He erased the artist's signature and the newspaper's name.
That's theft.
It's also nothing new for him.

The version he stole and altered is on the left. The original is on the right.

Looks like another job by the Crazed Cartooner.

Happy Birthday To Us!

It's been exactly two years now since we decided we'd had enough of Halburn's shit. He can no longer abuse with impunity Putnam County's citizens, government officials or anyone else that disagrees with him. Our mission when we started PutnamLIES.com was to expose the lies, hypocrisy and unethical behavior of PutnumLive and its "publisher" Mark Hallburn.

And that we have done.

We are now THE outlet for people to answer the scurrilous charges that he makes.

He has discovered that it's not so fun when the sandal is on the other foot.

It was a big year for PutnamLIES.com and Hallburn continued his long slow slide into oblivion.

So with that said, let's look at the last year.


Pool Whining Continues

Halburn continued his yearly whining about the pools closing the last week in August due to the lifeguards all going back to school.

Then in the spring, we proved him wrong on the cost of holding the end of season Dog Swim.

And it's coming again, so get ready.


Halburn Strokes Out

In October, the news the world was waiting for was released. Halburn had stroked out.

Unfortunately for everyone it was only Bell's Palsy and he is expected to recover.

But he does have diabetes, high blood pressure and sleep apnea, so there is still hope.


Rezoning Maps

Hallburn's investigative reporting uncovered the double secret zoning change to his second wife's property. Except it wasn't her property.PutnamLIES.com proved his allegations wrong. Again.

Anyone that could read a deed and a map could see that.

Except the dummy.

Calls Karen Haynes "A Bitch"

Last fall Hallburn started douching up the trailer park of the internet, Topix, with his presence. In October he called the tireless Karen Haynes "a bitch" because she is married to Hallburn's imagined nemesis Joe Haynes and because of her tireless work raising funds for a new Putnam County Animal Shelter.

Hallburn, you're not fit to scrape the dogshit off this lady's shoes. 
Fired Again

Shortly thereafter, he lost his insurance job with Woodmen of The World, after an incident where he harassed several people at Buffalo's Octoberfest, while he was there representing the insurance company.

Election Warning
Just before the general election in November, the West Virginia Secretary of State sent a warning to Putnam County officials that Halburn might attempt to create a scene and try to disrupt the electoral process. Due to the proactive efforts of the prosecutor and sheriff's office a potential problem was averted.

Desperation Redesign
Late in the year, in a desperate attempt to attract advertisers and bolster his shrinking readership, Hallburn had his news blog redesigned. Now he has a hit counter so he can falsify the number of imaginary readers that he thinks his site gets. He even let the genius that did the redesign to change his URL from a .com to a far less desirable .net.

MySpace 1994 has become MySpace 2010. The same old shit with a barely new look. Proving once again that you can't polish a turd.

Which led to: 

Hit Counter Proven To Be A Fraud

PutnamLIES.com's IT expert showed how Hallburn inflates his hit counter by loading almost 100 different links on every pageload, thereby artificially inflating the actual visitors by a factor of 100. We proved his actual daily readership was about 29 readers.

Form Letters From Politicians

After being exposed multiple times by PutnamLIES.com for stealing letters to the editor from other sources, Halburn was reduced to running press releases from politicians as letters promoting their agendas and Facebook comments masquerading as letters.

Started Running Coupons

Proving that his blog is truly nothing more than a cluttered advertising shopper, Hallburn started running coupons.

Continues Running "News" Stories About "Advertisers"

He continues his unethical practice of running fawning stories about his so-called advertisers under the guise of news.

We're putting you, your "advertisers" and anyone else you promote on notice, fatboy. We are going to parody and belittle all of you. If you're a business and you don't want it done, don't associate with Hallburn. He is a boil on the ass of civilized society and we're here to lance it.

Election Ad Fiasco

We exposed the fact that ads for both Betty Ireland and Natalie Tennant that Hallburn placed on his blog before the Gubernatorial primary were not authorized and were not paid for by either campaign, despite containing the "Paid For By" disclaimer at the bottom, a clear violation of WV election law.

Both the candidates and their supporters wanted NOTHING to do with Hallburn or his blog. Hallburn was never able to provide any proof that the ads were paid for, a fact which both candidates' financial reports confirmed.

Narrowly Avoids Arrest in Charlotte 
While sponging off his second wife when she was in North Carolina for a Mary Kay pyramid seminar this March, Halburn was involved in pool incidents at at least 2 different hotels. The police were called in the second incident and Hallburn was escorted out of the hotel along with an unnamed minor boy. Shortly after they returned home, his second wife was fired from a teaching job she had held for a number of years, allegedly over her husband's behavior.

Falsifies Own Poll Results

As part of the pathetic "redesign" of his blog, Hallburn added a poll on a sidebar which he loads up with slanted questions. But, Hallburn being Hallburn can't leave anything alone that goes against his preconceived ideas, so he alters the results to make them give the answer he wants. When we called him on it, he went so far as to accuse HIS readers of stacking the poll.

And we end our year with Halburn's latest escapade.

Thrown Out Of Strayer University

In May Halburn was thrown out of Strayer University in Teays Valley where he was attending grad school for a degree in, are you ready for this, Human Relations. Yeah, we got a good laugh out of that too.

But seriously, he went in, caused a big stink, threatened the Dean and was thrown out.

The best part? The Dean is a 4th Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo. She could have kicked his ass all the way back to California.

PutnamLIES.com was started to do one thing: Expose the lies that Mark Halburn was printing every day on his blog. The LIES we're talking about are his. We've been doing it now for two years, and he still doesn't seem to like it very much.

His advertisers have left and his readership numbers, which were greatly exaggerated in the first place, are WAY down. His endless whining about Walmart declined somewhat, but his Walmart blog is long gone.

He's slipped into utter irrelevance because of us and it kills him.

Now people are asking him about us.

But our job's still not over..
Here at PutnamLIES.com, we promise to continue to report the truth even if some loudmouth douchebag whines and cries about it. He was used to being able to do whatever he wanted without question. PutnamLIES.com will continue to call him on his unethical behavior and illegal practices, even as he continues to stalk Girl of Words and continues to embarrass himself with his bogus vendettas and accusations.

Readership and support for PutnamLIES.com continues to rise. Halburn and PutnumLive continues to embarass themselves.

Anytime a future employer Googles his name, they'll be able to find this site and see the truth about him. In fact the number one Google result for the word Halburn is a page that contains his mental evaluation.

Someday in the not too distant future, a little boy will be able to see just what kind of asshole his daddy really is.

The internet is forever. This site and the information on it will follow Hallburn around until the day he dies. Which can't come soon enough for us.

We'd also like to thank all our loyal readers, our correspondents Harry Stamper and Dolemite and the other members of the Trash Bloggers Alliance: Girl of Words, Tyler Hollywood, Lee, Lenny, Tybois and all the rest. We couldn't do what we do without the help and input of our readers.

Our work here is not done. Our output may have slowed but that's only because we have forced the other publisher to alter the way he does business.

We are not going away.

We'll be all around in the dark. We'll be everywhere.

Wherever you can look; wherever he's smeared someone because they won't submit to his demands - we'll be there. Wherever Hallburn's pickin' on a woman - we'll be there. When he harasses people at their workplace - we'll be there.

And when people laugh and clap their hands when they hear he's leaving, we'll be there, too.



We're watching you, Hallburn. The all seeing eye never blinks.



PutnamLIES.com will be here one day longer than Hallburn and his cluttered opinion blog.

What's in store for the next year? Only Halburn's behavior can determine that.

But, keep watching PutnamLIES.com for a revealing new series of articles.

Halburn Kicked Out Of Strayer University

Even a diploma mill has standards.

Reports are slowly trickling in about Halburn's latest adventures in higher education.

PutnamLIES.com first got an inkling something was wrong on May 18. Three different departments from Strayer were reading PutnamLIES.com for most of that day, including Hallburn's mental evaluation.

You may remember that in June 2010, Halburn enrolled in Strayer to work on an MBA in Human Resources. At the time he said he HATED to invest $24,000 and three years. He thought a B.A. in communications was not respected by West Virginia employers.
We've got news for you fatboy.
It's not the B.A. that's not respected it's YOU ,Hallburn.
You actually have to know about Human Relations to get a degree in it.

Well, one year and $8000 later all he has to show for it is another stain on his record.

PutnamLIES.com was informed Thursday morning that Hallburn has been thrown out of Strayer.
Plagiarism? Cheating? Bullying? Harassment? Extortion? Arson? Bedwetting?
We don't know.
We're publishing the question. We're not publishing a statement.
There aren't many reasons that get a student kicked out near the end of the quarter.
It is a well known fact though, that Hallburn is a plagiarist and a bully.

What we do know is that he threw a tantrum and then threatened the Dean, Dr. Phyllis Isley. That's when the cops got involved. He was told to never return and is now banned from the property.

Imagine that, a woman, and a Ph.D. no less, telling Halburn no and he starts his bullying act. Why is this not a surprise?
He's lucky she didn't kick his fat ass. Literally. She's a 4th Degree Black Belt in Taekwondo.

Whatever the reason, we applaud Strayer University for standing up for academic honesty and against bullying. We hope they see that their mistake was admitting him in the first place.
We hope this doesn't affect his substitute teaching jobs in Kanawha County. For all we know they enjoy employing cheats and bullies.


Looks like Halburn has traded his mortarboard for a dunce cap.
His academic career lasted about as long as any of his jobs.

We'd LOVE to hear Halburn's side of the story. You know he has one. He's the smartest guy in the world. Just ask him!
We're sure it was a just case of mistaken identity, probably his 'nephew' again. Whatever it was, we're certain this was Strayer's fault. No, wait ...
He ran outta gas. He had a flat tire. He didn't have enough money for cab fare. His tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole his car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locusts. It wasn't his fault!! I swear to God!!

We be more than happy to let him tell it too, but apparently he's too scared of the truth to even comment.
C'mon fatboy, you know you want to.

Halburn Plagiarizes Marshall Press Release

ETHICS NEWS

Serial Plagiarist Strikes Again - Copies Release, Adds His Name As Author 



It's really nice when a local girl succeeds.
What's not so nice is when a local asshole pretending to be a journalist takes the press release announcing that fact and puts his name on it and passes it off as if he wrote it.



Halburn's article announcing the selection of two Marshall University students for an economics presentation is copied word for word from Marshall's press release except with the byline By Mark Halburn added.

Here's the original:
http://www.marshall.edu/pressrelease.asp?ID=2028

It would be a lot easier and save space to just link to the article but we're not going to send him the hits, so here's the article Halburn "wrote":

HALL NOMINATED FOR SYMPOSIUM
Marshall Coed One Of 12 Finalists
By Mark Hallburn
Publisher
PutnumLIVE.com
A Putnam County Student taking an economics class in the Marshall University Lewis College of Business is one of two students that have been selected to be among 12 finalists who will present their ideas to a panel of top United States economists and policy makers during the National Economics Insider Symposium this summer.
While taking Principles of Microeconomic sophomore management major from Hurricane, and Natalie J. Faulk, a senior education student from Hartford, wrote winning papers for the competition. They will travel to Washington, D.C., June 11th-12th to make their presentations to a Nobel Prize winner in economics, a White House economic adviser, and a member of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System, among others.
Economics and finance adjunct professor Ralph E. McKinney Jr., nominated the students.
“Marshall University is fortunate to have two of 12 finalists for this honor. This speaks highly of our commitment to research and education,” says McKinney.
Contestants could submit essays on one of the following economic issues: health care; the environment; education; housing; technology; or other economic issues needing to be addressed. Faulk wrote about Cap and Trade. Hall wrote about the effect of oil and gas costs on shipping costs. They will be competing for a top prize at the event.
While in Washington, finalists will present to Ben Bernanke, chairmen and member of the Board of Governors of the Federal Reserve System; Paul R. Krugman, winner of the 2008 Nobel Prize in Economics; Olivier Blanchard, Economic Counselor and Director of Research Department of the International Monetary Fund; R. Glenn Hubbard, former Chairman of the White House Council of Economic Advisors; Karl E. Case, the Katherine Coman and A. Barton Hepburn Professor of Economics at Wellesley College; Frederic S. Mishkin, former Board of Governors member of the Federal Reserve; as well as the following research associates from the National Bureau of Economic Research: Daron Acemoglu (Massachusetts Institute of Technology); David I. Laibson (Harvard University); and John List (University of Chicago).
Students will also tour the Federal Reserve and the White House.
The National Economics Insider Symposium is an exclusive event sponsored by Pearson Higher Education, a publishing company that offers textbooks under the brands Addison-Wesley, Allyn & Bacon, Benjamin Cummings, Longman, Merrill and Prentice Hall.

They're identical.
In the real world that's known as plagiarism. Which could get you expelled from a University like Marshall. I guess the junior college that Halburn attended has looser standards than real schools. After all, they admitted him.

Shame on you Halburn, you unethical fuck.
Why would you think this was acceptable after you've been busted for it numerous times in the past?
You think we're running out of material? Well, all we have to do is wait for you to supply it, big boy. You come through every time.
This kind of unethical behavior is exactly what we've come to expect from you.

And isn't the word "coed" a little condescending? Didn't that word go out in 1970? Why didn't you call her a chick? Do you still use the word negro?

There is nothing wrong with printing a news release. What's wrong is when you pretend that you wrote it.

Porcine Pussy Purloins Previously Published Post...Again

Another blatant incident of plagiarism has been uncovered by PutnamLIES.com just this afternoon.
Back in July on girlofwords.com, Halburn was raving about the DMV requiring ID to renew his license, and how everyone at the DMV are dummies.
So he starts this blog called DMVDummies. And it just lays there like a turd. Oh, there are a couple of posts but Halburn made them under other names the day he started it.

And then in December just days after PutnamLIES.com revealed his plagiarism of letters to the editor, he copies a GOW post and makes it into a comment on that blog and signs it with the name of GOW's very own, Jacque. (Now cached because Wordpress did the right thing and pulled it down.)
Probably in retaliation for that article. Somehow he has convinced himself and his multiple personalities that Jacque, Lee and the PutnamLIES.com staff are one and the same person. And what better way to get back than to steal an article and reprint it on a blog that nobody reads. I'm sure he was rubbing his fat little hands together and cackling maniacally.

When contacted for comment, Jacque said, "That motherfucking son of a bitch stole my blog and posted it as a comment. And linking to it only by my name is NOT enough. I wasn't cited. It's just offensive. I'm fucking livid. That's unacceptable!"
She talks more about it in this post.

We did not attempt to contact Halburn because we know he did it and frankly we're not interested it how he'd try to explain this.

Watch your back, you fat bastard, We're coming after your advertisers next.

Serial Plagiarist Still at Large - NOW UPDATED WITH MORE LIES

Halburn took a 6 day vacation last August and went to the Hillbilly Riveria, Myrtle Beach SC. He claims to have only spent 2 days there.

He also claimed to have gone to Jacksonville Florida, which PutnamEYES.com is calling bullshit on right now.
This was at the same time he was emailing girlofwords from a Best Buy in Myrtle Beach posing as Rich Chrampanis.

On Saturday August 15 he wrote:
"I was in Jacksonville, Florida, shooting photos for an upcoming travel feature. You will see it someday in our Your Travel section."

Jacksonville is a 6 1/2 hour drive from Myrtle Beach. Who takes a day trip that takes 6 1/2 hours one way while on vacation?
What kind of a "man" abandons his family to go "take photos" for a blog article?
Well, someday came in December in the "Your Travel - Jacksonville, Florida" section. And we see it all right. We see an article of less than 500 words that took 4 months to write. We also see a lot of nice photos.
Unfortunately for you Halburn, YOU TOOK NONE OF THEM. NOT ONE. Every single photo is stolen. YOU stole all of them.

When Halburn writes:

"Historians report that Don Pedro Menéndez de Avilés first came ashore in what is now known as St. Augustine on September 8th, 1565. Aviles and his expedition celebrated Mass. Though they didn't know it then, their worship started the first permanently settled city and its first Catholic parish in the United States.

Throughout the years of political turnover, the parish church was burned to the ground several times. However, in 1797, a new parish church was constructed on the corner of St. George and Treasury streets facing the plaza – where it stands today."

it was plagiarized verbatim (that means word for word, Halburn) from:

Hello Jacksonville.com

That's 25% of the entire article.

Even the picture of the Basilica is stolen. SHAME!
You're going straight to hell, fatboy.

You're not kidding anybody, shitheel. You went to Google and got found some Jacksonville pictures and then went to the sites and stole them.

Like these from Adventure Landing, which, by the way, is in Jacksonville Beach not Jacksonville. You would have known that had you actually gone there.

http://www.insideflorida.com/detail/adventure-landing/

Once again proving that even so-called "original" material on your site cannot be trusted.
Why any advertiser would want to be associated with this type of behavior is a mystery.

You're a hack and a thief and you're not very good at either.

And it's obvious that these accusations are correct since you have no response to them. Your silence speaks volumes.

But, as the old saying goes, Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

UPDATE:

Halburn continues to lie in his latest slobber filled rant:

"...falsely accusing me of writing a less than 500 word travel article about Jacksonville. They can't count. The article is well over 500 words, and the photos that they claim were stolen were used by permission. But the blog does use the word "Lies" in its name, so at least it is correct about its constant attacks and lack of truthfulness."

Well over 500 words? Maybe now.
Because after we published the above article exposing his latest plagiarism, he changed the article.
Glad to see though that you agree that the lies we are writing about are yours.

Here's the original. Cached on January 3, 2010.
Don't just take our word for it. Look for yourself. Copy the text. Paste it into your word processor. Do a word count.
You'll find, as we did, 461 words.

Once again lard lad, you have proven yourself to be a unethical, dishonest piece of shit.

UPDATE 1/19:

The original photographer confirms Halburn stole the Adventure Landing photos.

Serial Plagiarist Strikes Again In Putnam County

Many of you read about the horrendous truck accident at the Scott Depot exit the other day.
This publisher would have rushed to the scene to take pictures so I could pat myself on the back again by saying that I don't publish fatal accident photographs out of sensitivity to family and friends of the victim, but unfortunately it happened at 1:30 AM, and my fat ass was sound asleep.
Due to that fact, I'll just have to jerk off to the other fatal accident photos I take but don't publish.

Anyway, since all I could do is regurgitate facts I got somewhere else for my story, I thought I'd print a letter from someone concerning the wreck. There's just one small problem. Nobody sent me a letter. So I had to make one up. And since it's easier to steal something than actually produce something, that's what I did.
Unfortunately the only thing I could find to plagiarize was from an internet forum, wvbroadcasting.net.Here's the text as I printed it:


Cut and paste is amazing. Rearrange the paragraphs and voila! Instant Letter to the Editor. Unfortunately for me, but unknown to most of my "readers", the writer would never, ever send anything to me.

I hope no one notices how obvious it is that I'm so desperate that I'm willing to do or say anything for material. My advertisers have to be idiots.

Many thanks!

=============================================

Once again PutnamLIES.com has uncovered another blatant theft of material by Halburn.
This time it comes from WVBroadcasting.net
His MO was to take text from a thread about a wreck, rearrange it and claim it was a letter sent by a reader.

Look for yourself. All the thieving bastard did was copy the text and rearrange it and try to pass it off as a letter sent to his shitty little "news" site.

Here's the topic on wvbroadcasting.net.

Halburn again demonstrates his lack of ethics and integrity by plagiarizing text and publishing it, and by lying to his "readers" by acting like it was sent to him as a letter.

When contacted for comment by PutnamLIES.com, the writer of the purported letter said the following:

"Not only did I NOT send Hallburn any information concerning an accident on I-64, but I never have and WILL never make contact with him in any way. He stole my post off a popular messageboard and used it as though I sent it to him. Fat chance!

Hallburn's issue with me started when he purchased less than $200 in advertisements on my radio talk show and then called in every day expecting to be placed live on the air under the guise of "reporting Putnam County news", when in fact he was simply milking that $200 into $2000 worth of free advertising. I finally put a stop to this, at which time Hallburn started posting all sorts of fabrications all over the internet. Most websites that he's been involved with have banned him or made so much fun of him that he refuses to go to them anymore. He will stoop to ANY level to promote his website.

To this very day he has worked overtime in a vain attempt to get even with me and many others of whom he's tricked into making believe that he was a legitimate newsman."

So there you have it. Undeniable proof from the alleged letter writer of blatant plagiarism by Putnam County's news loser.
But you better look quick if you want to see it there. He'll remove it and pretend it never existed.

We demand that Halburn publish an admission of plagiarism and apologize to the letter writer.

A practice like this is business at its absolute worst, practiced by an immoral charlatan masquerading as a journalist. Halburn will stoop to the lowest, most vulgar, vile and disgusting ploys to deceive the honest, hard-working citizen. He is the lowest form of scum on the face of the earth.

Letters, I Get Letters

So I'm sitting in the basement my office (the one in Fraziers Bottom, NOT in my wife's house) last month licking the KFC grease off my fingers when I get another brainstorm.

I need some letters from more exotic locales. That will show the nay-sayers and trash-talking bloggers a thing or two. See, I like to think that by printing letters from other states, they'll think I have readers all across the country.
The problem is, nobody from any other state writes in, much less actually reads any of my "stories". I have enough trouble attracting local readers.
Even most of my local letters are made up. Do you think there's actually a Ray Bloomington of Hurricane, George Williamson of Eleanor, or John Grange of Scott Depot?

But the internet is an amazing thing, You can find letters to the editor in every online newspaper.
There's tons of them, who's going to know if I reprint a few and say that they were sent to me? What's someone going to do? Contact and ask them?

So I printed this in November's Letters to the Editor:



Which is very interesting, because here's the original:


http://www.mariettatimes.com/page/content.detail/id/517660.html?nav=5007

Notice how I dropped the part where she talks about her local concerns. That's because I knew that would be a tip off that it was swiped. Pretty smart, huh?
Lower Salem OH is 125 miles from Hurricane.

And then I printed this one:


Which came from here:


http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/letters/story/1344561.html

Key Biscayne is over 1,000 miles from Hurricane.

And why stop there:



The original came from here:


http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn4176/is_20091112/ai_n42085590/

Fremont CA is over 2,500 miles from Hurricane.
Who-hoo! Look at me! I get letters from across the US. I'm very important!
Not really though.
Like somebody once said, "You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can just jerk off. "
With my personality disorder, I'm a pro at both.

If that trash-talking blogger could write here I bet he'd make up some headline like "Pussy Publisher Plagiarises Purloined Postings" or say something like,
"I'll guaran-fucking-tee that NONE of these people sent these letters."
And he'd be right.


All I have to say is they would write they knew who I am and what I stand for.
I'M MARK "HALLBURN", GODDAMMIT!!!