Happy Halburn-idays 2010

It was another big Christmas at the house my wife owns.
Now that all the excitement has died down, I thought I'd share some of the joy with you.




We started off the holiday when a bunch of relatives came to visit. They may move in later this year.




We had our feast the night before Christmas this year. This one couldn't be beat.



The boy got me this mouse pad. Cheap little bastard.
I gave him an ass whipping.



I'm glad I got one of these. Now my butt boy Jay doesn't have to run over every time I want a cosmopolitan. They're much tastier than Bartles & Jaymes.



Somebody put some coal in my stocking though. I don't know who would do something like that. I've been a good little boy this year.
Probably those darn trash bloggers again.



Someone had a little too much egg nog again.
I told him if he still couldn't handle his liquor better that he'd have to move out.
Really though. What can you do with relatives?

The folks at PutnamLIES.com gave me even more shit this year.
What a great Christmas!
Many Thanks!
I hope the new year is just as good!

Merry Christmas

From Putnam County's fattest Santa and his Ho Ho Ho.



Another Christmas is destroyed by EXCESSIVE NOISE.

I am awakened during the night by some kind of jingling bells coming from a sled in the neighborhood and someone laughing loudly. HOW RUDE!!! There is NO reason why someone should be so rude!!! What kind of IDIOT would do such a thing so late at night?

We can't even get peace and quiet ON CHRISTMAS EVE!

Peace on Earth and good will to all especially Walmart, AEP, Scott Edwards, Steve Andes, Raymond "Joe" Haynes (do the Amish even celebrate Christmas?), Mike Hall, Mark Sorsaia, Gary Walton, Ben Newhouse, Girl of Words, Lee, Lenny, Tyler Hollywood, Harry Stamper, and all the great readers and commenters at PutnamLIES.com!

I can't wait to show everyone what I got!!!

Here's to ya!

Merry Christmas To All Our Readers!

Here's one of the holiday pictures I love the most.
I hope you're as excited as I am.



I guess it's OK for me to use Santa Claus as a keyword for the next few days.

Sights Of The Season

Neediest Cases

More Computers Would Make Difference For Man

Mark, 49, is married and has one child. He
lives in a filthy but modest $379,000 house owned by his mother-in-law and wife. Other down on their luck family members live there on a transient basis.

His wife is the sole support. Mark works several menial jobs so that he can feel that he is contributing, but it's barely enough to put gas in either of his two vehicles. In fact, he's so needy he can only afford one brand new car, the other is almost 6 years old. He works sometimes as substitute baby sitter for the local school system but he can only work there until they find out about his record. He now shakes the farts out of shirttails at a local laundry.

He also has a severe personality disorder that makes it difficult for him to hold a job or interact with normal people. His weight makes it difficult to do much except his hobby of running what he calls an "internet news site". A number of arrests also hamper his ability to get along in the area.
"He's obese, balding and very difficult. He complains constantly. He only has 3 computers. Yeah, really, 3!" said the social worker familiar with his case.

He is also in dire need of new flat screen televisions. His 8 old TVs are all conventional tube models. The 50 inch TV in the living room is barely big enough for him to see his favorite food programs. The rent to own payments are very expensive.

They desperately need more computers for the family room and the child's room of their home. They frequently host guests who like "different" web sites.

Won't you please help a needy, hateful old bastard have a Merry Christmas?

Needs: Computers or any other objects of value (beds, HDTVs, used condoms, etc).


Cases published in PutnamLIES.com's Neediest Cases have not been verified by anyone.
Contributions may be thrown onto the front lawn of 194 Grace Drive in Hurricane.

Here He Blows Again!

Halburn's Stats A Sham

Halburn likes to brag about how many hits his cluttered advertising shopper gets. Over 40,000 in November. He says.
We say bullshit. He's a liar.

It's called click fraud.


We have a counter too!

Let us clarify exactly what that counter does.
It counts page hits not actual individuals. So if one person reads 20 pages, it counts them as 20 visitors. Or if a certain fatbody sits around and reloads a page 150 times, guess what? 150 visitors.
And his newest scam is to write a little intro to the article he links to so the reader is forced to go to another page to get the actual link. That way he increases his hit count for anything anyone wants to read.
Here's what the guy that "redesigned" Halburn's blog has to say about hit counters:

"Please, don’t fall for claims from website hosting companies that promise to bring hundreds or even thousands of potential customers to your website… if only you let them build and host it for you. These are false claims! Even if you see high traffic numbers on your hit-counter, it is very likely being done by fraudulent means.

The Facts about Hit Counters
Hit counters on websites can be set high and raised at anytime with very little effort. A brand new website can be shown as having 1 million hits with a 2 second code change. Website hit counters do not reflect unique visitors – they don’t even necessarily reflect ANY visitors at all.

Some Companies Pay People To Browse The Web
Why in the world would a company PAY someone to surf the web… unless they got something out of it? Recently, a large web hosting company was paying people directly to repeatedly visit websites they promised high hit rates! Meaning these were never potential customers to begin with, just paid visits who loaded your page, then moved on to another site they were paid to visit.

Server Software Can Fake Hits
However, hosting companies don’t have to pay anyone to surf web pages these days. There are many software programs that web hosting companies can run on their server to run up artificial hit rates when they promise a hit count they can’t really deliver.

One such program is “I-Faker”. It promises to send as many unique hits a day as their server can handle. Using PHP, it routes HTTP get requests through a massive list of anonymous proxy servers which can be defined by the company. The advertisement for this software says that even banner ads on the site get hits. It is not only a fake hit generator, but it can in conjunction with the Alexa tracker improve your Alexa rankings.

All the traffic sent by the fake traffic PHP script is unique and shows up as unique in your website and server stats."

Straight from the horse's mouth, so to speak.

This is exactly what we're saying he's doing. Artificially inflating his stats to make his site more attractive to his so called advertisers.

So here's a little warning to those who may be thinking of advertising with this reprobate.
These numbers are completely unverified and he has no way to do so. He can make up a number and say that's how many people have visited.

BTW, we've had 9161576 visitors since we've started.

Related story: Hallburn's Readership Stats Disproven!

Smith Loses On Appeal

Toady's Trespassing Conviction Upheld


Life in Putnam County: Police officer tells reporter to leave building, reporter refuses and is arrested for trespassing. Legal system holds him responsible.

Lawrence J. Smith, a Halburn sycophant and alleged reporter, had his trespassing conviction upheld Wednesday in Putnam Circuit Court.

Smith was cited on March 12 by Hurricane Police Officer Chris Eggleton after he was ordered numerous times to leave Hurricane police headquarters and each time refused to do so.

Smith was there demanding to see a file concerning Matthew Wagner and an incident at the Creekside Cafe, a PutnumLive.com "advertiser".

When he was refused access, Smith became "belligerent" and the police were called.

(ed. note: This case resulted in a lawsuit filed in February 2010.
Bradley McDaniel vs. Creek Side Cafe LLC dba Creek Side Cafe and Matthew Wagner.
McDaniel says Wagner was an underage customer at Creek Side Cafe on March 21, 2009, when Wagner hit him causing serious and permanent injuries. Putnam Co. case number: 10-C-75
Did PutnumLive.com report this case as he does every other lawsuit filing? Are you kidding? He never even covered the original incident. And do you think he'd offend an "advertiser"? Advertising bias at its finest.)

Halburn implies that Smith was justified in his actions because the city violated the FOIA law.
That has no bearing on the trespass. The law is simple. If you're asked to leave, you leave. Why you're there is not important.
It was priceless to see the look on Smith's chubby face when the trespassing charge was upheld.

A few words of wisdom to Smith: Halburn is using you for his own nefarious purposes. And has been for years. If you can't see that, you're dumber than he is.
Now you've got a conviction on your record.
Real smart move gordo, taking advice from a convicted trespasser with a string of arrests.
Wise up. Don't be a Halburn.

Happy Thanksgiving

From me and the woman who supports me.
Happy Thanksgiving from our shack to your'n.

You'd better save me a drumstick, if you know what's good for you bitch!

Handouts Halburn At It Again

More Fun With Freecycle



Before leaving town, that cheap bastard Halburn couldn't help but beg for something for free on his favorite hillbilly giveaway site, Freecycle.
This time it was a computer for his whacked out old man.

Get a load of this:

"My senior citizen father, who lives on the west coast, could use a working notebook computer with wifi to send email, Facebook, etc. At 76, he finally has the desire to join "the computer age." This doesn't have to have a huge hard drive, lots of RAM, etc. Just something so that he can get online. Can you please help?"

Jeezus, you fat fuck. You don't want much do you?
You fly all the way across the country and you can't get him one yourself?
You're making all that money with that lucrative internet advertising shopper, you're getting rich selling that Woodmen of The World insurance and substitute teaching but you're too cheap to buy your dear old demented dad a lousy computer?
Some son you are.

We're pretty sure they sell computers in California. Although with freeloaders like you there Halburn, it's no wonder that the Golden State has become the Welfare State.

You sure it's not for you so you wouldn't have to lug your own porn laden "notebook computer" across state lines?

You would have wrapped it up and given it to him like you bought it too, wouldn't you crisco?
Now we see why tigers eat their young.
But we guess giving him a computer beats him driving around killing people.

Happy Birthday To Me!

I'm so excited! Someone gave me a makeover for my birthday present before my big trip. I feel so pretty!
Things are really happening for her. Soon she'll be at the top of the pyramid and I'll be cruising around town in a pink Cadillac!

The Trash Bloggers Alliance even sent me this swell cake.



Many thanks, guys!

Halburn To Leave State Tomorrow

Fat Boy to Make Trans-Continental Flight

TSA intelligence sources have notified PutnamLIES.com's travel desk that Halburn is flying to California tomorrow to surprise his mom and dad on their 50th wedding anniversary at the nursing home where he abandoned them. The surprise will be that he now drools as much as they do, if they even recognize him at all.




After arriving on his birthday, the 17th, he plans to eat all the cake at the party on the 19th. Unfortunately, he will fly home a few days later.



Due to his domestic terrorist status, PutnamLIES.com hopes he gets the full monty search they're giving out at airports and we pity the poor TSA officer that has to give it to him.

Happy Birthday To Lee!

You showed me up to be a fool.
You really took my ass to school.
I have a really shitty life
When my sole support's my wife.

Happy Birthday to a guy that's been making my life hell.

SORSAIA SLAMS PUTNUMLIVE.COM PUBLISHER

LEGAL NEWS



SORSAIA SLAMS PUTNUMLIVE.COM PUBLISHER
Correctly Calls Publisher "Alleged Journalist"
Halburn Whines

 
Halburn gets caught with his hand in the cookie jar once again and once again it's some else's fault.
This time it's Putnam County Prosecutor Mark Sorsaia.
It's always someone else's fault with this fat fuck.

After reading about a memo published on PutnamLIES.com, Putnam County's REAL news source, Halburn stole the scans of that memo and wrote an article complaining about his mistreatment. Boo fucking hoo.

"I do not believe that Mr. Halburn at PutnumLive is a legitimate media source," Sorsaia said in the November 1st memo.
You've got that right, Mr. Prosecutor. Nobody does.

Halburn whines that Sorsaia never contacted him about the call from the secretary of State's office.
A prosecutor doesn't phone a suspect to get his side of the story.
No clarification is needed. The memo speaks for itself.

What apparently prompted the memo was a telephone call from the office of West Virginia Secretary of State Natalie E. Tennant.

What prompted the phone call was this: A Jefferson County judge dismissed charges against a newspaper reporter for taking photos inside a polling place. Halburn then called the Secretary of State to let them know his opinion on the case. He was told that the constitutionality of the issue had not been settled and that a lawsuit addressing the law had been filed but not ruled on. Halburn then started giving his legal opinions about the case saying the First Amendment allowed such photography. Other vague statements were made which were interpreted as an intent by him to disrupt the election. Common sense precautions were taken.

Halburn then called Putnam County County Clerk Brian Wood and made the same statements.

Obviously, Halburn's reputation precedes him not only here but at the Secretary of State's office and every other place where they've had to deal with him. Halburn has a long history of making threats just vague enough that he can weasel out of them by maintaining he meant something else.

They've all read his psychiatric evaluation where the report said, "Given his degree of agitation and volatility, threats made by Mr. Halburn should be taken seriously and dealt with appropriately."

And that's exactly what they're doing.

The Secretary of State is merely doing her job by warning county authorities of potential problems. The prosecutor is doing his job by warning law enforcement and the county clerk of the same thing.

He would be remiss in his duties by not doing so.

As far as we know, Halburn has never taken a law course or worked for a legal firm. He also never went to journalism school. While he is not even qualified to be a journalist, he is certainly not qualified to argue the law. We are not sure why Halburn apparently thinks he is an expert about law. In journalism school, reporters are taught to interview all of the key people involved in a situation to get the complete story. They are also taught to report fairly and without bias. Halburn does neither of these.

Halburn later informed Sorsaia that his memo will be turned over as part of a formal complaint to whatever state agency oversees prosecuting attorneys. "Whatever state agency oversees prosecuting attorneys"? He doesn't even know. Whatta maroon.

Halburn says he doesn't know why Sorsaia would attempt to enforce a law that another West Virginia prosecutor has determined is unconstitutional.

Here's why, nonuts. Prosecutors also do not determine the constitutionality of laws. That role belongs to the judges.

Halburn also says that PutnumLive.com would never photograph an unwilling subject.

Really?
 

He should tell that to the many people that he's photographed or attempted to photograph over the years. It happened last month at the Buffalo Octoberfest.

As for what Sorsaia was told in the conversation with the SOS's office, we do not know. It appears that the information was serious enough though for him to write the memo and warn law enforcement to beware.
PutnamLIES.com applauds Mr. Sorsaia for protecting the voters of Putnam County.

In these days where domestic terrorism is rampant, government cannot afford to let its guard down against miscreants who would do the public harm or try to undermine the electoral process.

Related article:

Authorities Fear Halburn May Attempt To Disrupt Election!

Liar Halburn Spotted At Walmart

Big Ass Needs Lots Of Toilet Paper





Halburn claims he doesn't shop at Walmart. We all know better. Well, one of our intrepid reporters shows you the proof.

Convenience triumphs over principles with him. He has no principles anyway, except what benefits him.

Obviously what benefits his sandal wearing fat ass tonight is 12 rolls of toilet paper. How much fucking toilet paper do you need?
Plus, Mr Environmental Awareness probably drove the 200 yards to get to the store.

We're watching you Halburn. 24/7.
The all seeing eye never blinks.

Authorities Fear Halburn May Attempt To Disrupt Election!

ELECTION NEWS

DOMESTIC TERRORISTS SHOULD
BE DEALT WITH HARSHLY!

PutnamLIES.com's election coverage team has been informed that the Secretary of State's office warned Putnam County officials that Mark Halburn may attempt to create a scene and try to disrupt today's general election.
Click to enlarge the images.




If readers spot Halburn at any polling places or government offices they are invited to take HIS picture and send it to us.

Halburn Harasses Patrons At Octoberfest

OBNOXIOUS DOUCHEBAG WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER

A visibly drooling Mark Halburn was busy making an asshole out of himself Saturday at the Buffalo Octoberfest. PutnamLIES.com's reporter was there and observed the following scene.

Halburn went up to the GOP tent and was told to stay away. He said in a slurred high pitched lispy voice that the people there were "public officials" at a "public event" and he was entitled to take their photographs. GOP volunteers are not "public officials."

He was then asked not take pictures, but he did anyway (while holding his drooping eye open with his hand and snapping the pictures). At one point he was told that this reporter would be called and he was laughed at by the volunteers. Little did he know that I was standing right behind him and recorded the entire exchange.

He then went away and changed his slobber and food stained shirt and set up a table for Modern Woodmen of America Insurance Company with brochures regarding financial information.
That should make anyone laugh...Halburn giving financial advice to someone else!

The true mark of a sociopath is that he makes you think he is a good person and then takes advantage of you for his own ends. His attitude comes from living in California. I know another guy from there that lives nearby and he is an even bigger asshole than Halburn, if that's possible.

Do you think we could start a TV show called "Everybody Hates Mark?

Halloween Is Almost Here Again!

By popular demand we're bringing back a Halloween favorite.

Once again you can be the scariest fat kid on your block with the Official PutnamLIES.com Mark Hallburn Halloween Mask.

Download Full Size PDF

Print it out, cut it out & put it on!
(straitjacket not included)

Go to the Hurricane Walmart.
Go to Hurricane City Hall.
Go swimming (only when the pool's closed, of course.)
Be a substitute teacher in Kanawha County! (no qualifications needed)
Go Trick or Treating at Fatso's house.
Do anything you want!
You're Mark Fucking Hallburn!

Scare your friends!
Scare your neighbors!
They'll run. They'll cry.
They'll shit their pants!

Many thanks!

Happy Halloween!


Update: Readers have asked for it and now it's here!
New for 2010, the PutnamLIES.com Strokey Mark Mask!
Now with 75% more scare!

Download Full Size PDF

Bell's Palsy Causes

Over the past few days we've received a lot of letters from folks wondering: What causes Bell's palsy?
PutnamLIES.com's medical reporter decided to ask the fine doctors at the Mayo Clinic.

By Mayo Clinic staff

The most common cause of Bell's palsy appears to be the herpes simplex virus, which also causes cold sores and genital herpes. Other viruses that have been linked to Bell's palsy include:

The other causes aren’t important. LOL

Stroked Out!

HEALTH NEWS

According to a PutnamLIES.com source, Halburn was admitted to the hospital Monday suffering from what an initial diagnosis termed a "mild stroke". More tests are scheduled Tuesday to determine if this is the case.

Unfortunately, he is expected to live.
Sources now say it's Bell's Palsy. Well, he's going to wish he stroked out and died because half of his face will be broken. Look out son, Mr. Scary Face is here!




Then he blames...
everyone but himself.
He blames the Sheriff for arresting him and not paying his damage claims, disregarding the fact that he has never actually filed suit to get them.
He blames Joe Haynes for closing the pool at the same time every other pool in the valley closed, for not being allowed to swim whenever the fuck he wants and thinks a 50 year old pool fell apart in 4 years.
You want to see who's at fault, drooly? Just look in the mirror.

It's YOU.

You weigh 370 lbs, have high blood pressure and are a diabetic. You're a high-risk ball of fat who's at risk for repeated strokes. You sit on your big ass all day pretending to be a newsman and Google your name. Your only physical activity is waddling over to the window, shaking your fist and mumbling "excessive noise".

You're a goddamn mobile home with an anger management problem.

Nobody force fed you all those ding dongs and KFC and smacked you in the head until you went crazy.

And it's some else's fault?

It's all just a classic example of being unwilling to take any responsibility for your own actions.

As for the trash bloggers?

"I am sure they are cheering my misfortune." Hallburn says.
You're goddam right we are.

For once in his life, Halburn is right about something.

Whatever the ailment, we wish nothing but the worst to Halburn. Suffer, you drooling prick.

And the wishes start pouring in:


"A Stroke of Luck!"

Hi Mark! It's your ol' pal, Lee!

Karma's a bitch, isn't it? I believe this is God's way of telling you you're a dick.
Where to begin? First of all, it's true. We trash bloggers are all celebrating the fact you're that much closer to being the main course in the biggest pig roast Hell has ever seen. Second, once again you're blaming someone else for you being a fat ass!
We trash bloggers know you all too well, you're milking this for another sympathy angle. We also know that you have a track record of being full of shit, however, a simple phone call to the hospital can confirm all of this.
I can't help but laugh, cackle, and snort at you pointing fingers at everybody else that you can't exercise. What you, and alot of people probably don't know is, is this link I found dated a couple years ago:
http://www.putnumlive.com/SAVINGMYLIFEAJourney.html
(ed note: Sorry Lee, we don't link to shithead's site, no matter how amusing the pictures may be. But readers can get the gist of the story and the pictures on Tyler Hollywood's page: http://tylerhollywood.wordpress.com/2010/10/15/the-transformation-of-mark-halburn/)

You were gonna "Beat the Beetis!", weren't you? That lasted, what...two weeks? You had pictures of yourself taken working out...YOU WERE A BEAST!!! That first Rocky montage and music were going through your head, you were gonna get sliced like some professional wrestler!! But......something happened, didn't it? The fact that you're a lazy fat fuck happened. That fact that you don't want to work for anything happened. You missed your buckets of KFC and Nutter Butters!!
Fast-forward a few years later, people are riding your enormous backside for your bullying, lies, harassment, and general douchebaggedry. You start sweating more than usual, you start stressing and getting angrier that people are catching you in your lies, and most of all, a hot piece of ass stationed in our nation's capital has bested you. Oh yeah, you try calling local authorities, you try rallying a bunch of heifers on your side with claims that a 50 year old man is being bullied, your riding the coattails of young people committing suicide because dicks at their schools are giving them shit for something, you're doing ANYTHING to protect yourself and your lies, and you keep getting more stressed and angry to the point where your blood pressure is rising to dangerous levels. All of a sudden, your face starts to droop and your arm goes numb...

Like all of your "news" stories, it has holes in it. You claim that quacks at the hospital said you may have had Bell's Palsy, what you didn't mention is that having diabetes, because you're too lazy to exercise and eat mountains of food, triggers Bell's Palsy. It's no one's fault but yours, Mark. Again, you want to blame others for your misfortunes. You were convicted in a court-of-law for trespassing. Whatever pool you want to swim in, you have to follow the rules, but then again, this has all been said before. You know the rules, your bitch tit nipples just got all irritated when they didn't bend to your paper demands.
Now look at ya, playing the sympathy card again because you're a miserable fat fuck. I'll let you in on a little secret, Mark. I have lost over 70lbs. How did I do it? The old fashioned way, exercising! Plus, my job, you know...something you DON'T have...requires me being on my feet 8 hours a day. Drinking nothing but water helps, and jogging/walking for 3 hours at a local park helps, too...plus pumping a little iron thrown in for good measure. I worked at it...and working at something is something that's foreign to you.
You're lying in a hospital bed, what I assume is a bariatric bed because you are stupid as you are wide, blaming others but yourself. You know what all this is called, Markie boy? Your shit catching up to you! But, I could type until my fingers bleed, it won't get through to you because you know everything! Everyone is out to get you! We trash bloggers could care less...we already have a "death pool" going on as to when you finally do keel over. So, keep walking the path you're on, fat boy! The devil and all his friends are licking their chops!


If any other readers have any wishes for Li'l Marky send them to: putnamlies.com@gmail.com and we'll make sure they're passed along.

Put Up Or Shut Up

GOVERNMENT NEWS

For years Hurricane asshole Mark Halburn has been bitching that the zoning for his second wife's property was changed.

He offers no proof, just scurrilous accusations.

Earlier this year, he brayed about uncovering the double secret zoning change to the property which PutnamLIES.com proved to be wrong. It wasn't even her property. Anyone that could read a deed and a map could see that.
Except the dummy.

In his latest rant he continues demand that the city do something. He claims "neighbors" made some kind of agreement. Notice he never specifies exactly what the agreement was or who the "neighbors" actually are.
There's only about 3 of them. Name names.
Notice how he once again fails to disclose that his second wife is one of those property owners.
PutnamLIES.com says that the only neighbor he's talking about is HIM.
The entire article is as incoherent as its author.

He says the zoning was changed.
We say produce the documents ordering the change.
Prove it. Show us the documents.
He bugs the shit out of everyone and his brother with FOIA requests but never seems to file one for this.
Wonder why that is?

This is just another in a long line of baseless attacks against Scott Edwards by a habitual whiner.

PutnamLIES.com says put up or shut up.

Hallburn Calls Haynes A "Bitch"

Community gadfly and all around pain in the ass Mark Halburn has stooped to a new low.
Today he posted this on an internet forum:



That's a new low even for a mongoloid like Halburn.
Karen Haynes has done nothing but good for Putnam County. Her hard work and community involvement should be applauded not belittled.
Especially from someone of Halburn's ilk.

But this just shows the lengths Halburn will go to in order to get back at those who will not do his bidding.
His petty vendetta against Joe Haynes is one thing, but to attack his wife is beyond the pale.

You're a sad pathetic little man who will never amount to anything, Halburn. Except a thorn in the side of all decent people. If she were my wife, I'd kick your ass from one end of the county to the other.

You are a disgrace and an embarrassment to the human race.
You owe Karen and Joe Haynes a public apology.

Halburn Opposes Energy Conservation

UTILITY NEWS

CONTINUING VENDETTA DISGUISED AS NEWS STORY



The WV Public Service Commission has Granted American Electric Power a one half of 1 percent rate increase.

AEP says this increase will amount to about 50 cents a month and will be used for conservation programs.

The extra money will to go toward the cost of home energy audits, more efficient light bulbs and other efforts to reduce electricity consumption.

Of course, Mr Credibility & Respect, Mark Halburn is immediately against it.
Why?
50 cents a month will deprive him of a candy bar.

He has no problem with wasting our precious energy resources. He is against people finding out where their houses are leaking air and weatherizing them. He is against people using energy efficient bulbs in their homes. Mark Hallburn wants people to use MORE electricity.

How else can it be explained?
He obviously wants to put more money in the pockets of AEP.

C'mon dummy, you ought to be applauding this move. Less energy use means less money for AEP.
Hah! Stick it to the man!

But when your second wife pays the bills it doesn't really matter, does it Halburn?

Halburn thinks the company should cut executives' salaries and eliminate retirement pay. He also believes elected officials should serve with no pay and retired people shouldn't be able to work. He is clearly a Bolshevik and biased against the elderly.

We would suggest to Halburn that he is jealous that someone is making more money than him. Why don't you get a real, full time job that has retirement benefits, or any benefits for that matter, fartsack?
Both of these gentlemen worked their entire careers for these companies and are entitled to their retirements. They are also entitled to take another job or hold elected office.
Neither of which, we would like to point out, you will ever be able to do.

Nobody likes to pay more, but with energy costs increasing every day, utilities must be able to recover their costs. It's simple economics.
But we wouldn't expect someone who's filed bankruptcy twice in the last 15 years to understand that. You can file again in 2011, so start getting those papers ready, you irresponsible fuck.

This is yet another example in a long string of Halburn & PutnumLive.com trying to pass off the thinly veiled vendettas against Joe Haynes and AEP as news stories. He's a liar, hack and a bully.

Meanwhile, here at PutnamLIES.com we will continue to advocate energy conservation. Because everyone, including retirees and government employees, has a duty to conserve.The people of Putnam County aren't stupid, they know that in the long run saving energy saves money.

Halburn is certainly feeling the heat in the community. Let's turn it up on him.

We started PutnamLIES.com to do one thing: Expose the lies that Mark Halburn was printing everyday on his blog. The LIES we're talking about are his.
Now that we've been doing it for over a year, he doesn't seem to like it very much.
Advertisers have left and his readership numbers, which were greatly exaggerated in the first place, are WAY down. His whining blog about Walmart has come to an end. We saw to that. He's slipped into utter irrelevance because of us and it kills him.
But our job's not over. Mission accomplished? Not by a long shot.

People are now asking him about us. Why else would he call attention to us on his blog?

We really got under his thin skin with our last story by pointing out his seven high schools remark.

Well, we're gonna have our say here, fatsack.

Not counting Christian schools doesn't make us anti-Christian. Most people in the county don't count them and couldn't even name them. Unless you have a kid there they're an afterthought.
They have a total enrollment of maybe 200 high school students between the three of them. Insignificant.
There are almost 3000 students in Putnam County high schools.

How many high school students are home schooled in the county? We didn't count them either. We guess that makes us anti-home school in your eyes.

We eat bacon too, does that make us anti-Semitic?

The only anti we are is anti-YOU, numbnuts.

And from now on, you fat prick, when you write about us, put in the link to our page so your readers can see the truth about you, just like the people at Trader Joe's did.
Yeah, that's right. They came here to read about you.

We're putting you, your "advertisers" and anyone else you promote on notice. We are going to parody and belittle all of you. If you don't want it done don't associate with Halburn. He is a boil on the ass of civilized society and we're here to lance it.

We at PutnamLIES.com wear Halburn's opprobrium like a badge of honor.

Halburn Can't Count

Massive overnight growth in Putnam County has apparently produced new schools that nobody knows about.
According to that other publisher, Putnam County now has seven High Schools!

You want to run down the list for us, Crisco?
If this were true, there would be 3 more schools that wouldn't hire you either.

Now he'll correct his sloppy reporting.
You can cut us a check when you get your allowance, porky.

Hallburn Goes To The Mall

One of our intrepid correspondents tipped us off to this incident at the mall.

 

Why Does Mark Hallburn Hate Dogs?

Why does Mark Hallburn hate me?

Most people in Putnam County are familiar with the annual dog swim on Labor Day at Valley Park Wave Pool.
The pool closes for the summer and man's best friends get a chance to enjoy the water. Donations are accepted at the door to raise money for the Putnam Animal Relief Fund to help build a new shelter in Putnam County. This year's swim was the fourth annual.

Some dog haters feel that they, not dogs, should be the ones swimming, even though there are no lifeguards.
Mark Halburn is one of those.
He doesn't want the dogs to swim in the pool.

Halburn was at the Parks Office Friday afternoon demanding to know why the pool was open for the dogs and closed early for people. (Keep in mind the swim was more than two weeks ago and the pool closed at the SAME TIME IT CLOSES EVERY YEAR.) He wanted to know how much it cost the taxpayers for the dogs to swim.
It didn't cost taxpayers anything...it was all volunteers.

This year's swim raised $1884.58 and there were about 300 dogs that had fun at the pool. Everyone had a great time (except for Halburn, who hates dogs) and can't wait for next year.

What kind of cruel bastard would deny dogs a swim in the pool?
Just remember, many serial killers got their start abusing animals.

I'm Finally Cool

After weeks of sweltering in high temperatures with no pool, I was finally able to cool off today with a refreshing dip.
If Joe Haynes, Steve Andes, Scott Williamson, Sally Holliday or Cordie Fucking Hudkins won't implement my suggestion of white slavery so I'll have some lifeguards at the pool, I'll do something myself for a change.

So I stole the boy's pool. The little bastard never swims in it anyway. All that work and the little shit won't go near it.
Now, if I could just find a way to skim off all this grease floating on the surface.

Convicted Pool Trespasser Hallburn Boo-Hoos About Closed Pool

Every year about this time Halburn starts bitching about the pools being closed.
He's been whining for the last three weeks about it.



There's a reason the pools are closed, shithead. And you know exactly what it is.
It's got nothing to do with Joe Haynes, Steve Andes, Scott Williamson, Sally Holliday or Cordie Fucking Hudkins.
It's because there are no lifeguards.

It doesn't matter if it's 86 degrees or 186 degrees. They're not going to open the pool back up for a day because you broke a sweat. Especially with no lifeguards.
Plus it's been in the 50s at night for the past couple of weeks. Do you have any idea how quick a pool cools off with temps like that?
Then you'd be complaining that the pool was open but it wasn't heated.

Seriously asshole, just how many times did YOU go to the pool here this summer?

Public pools use college students as lifeguards. Most college students have been back in school for the last month.
Public pools around here close by Labor day. It's a fact of life. Get used to it.
If you don't like it, go back to California. Don't go away mad, just go away.

Judge Kaufman explained it to you when you were convicted of trespassing in May.



"If my memory serves me," he said, "most all public pools are closed that last week in August because the lifeguards go back to school. And they can't get lifeguards to open up."

What's so difficult about understanding that? What do you want? Press gangs to round up people off the streets as lifeguards so you can soak your fat ass when it gets hot at the end of September?

Or are you suggesting that they open without them?
You would be the the first one to accuse county officials of blatantly disregarding the safety of the swimming public if they did so.



If you want to swim, there's a pool at the Tri-County YMCA that's open 353 days a year. But then you'd have to pay for a membership there and we all know that's not going to happen, you cheap bastard.

Shut the fuck up.

Happy Birthday To Tyler Hollywood!

I'm no longer gallant,
You took me down a peg,
If I could have your talent,
For that I'd surely beg.

Happy Birthday to a guy that's far more successful in radio than I've ever been or will be.
I bow to my overlord.

He's At It Again

Fun With Twitter

Here's an amusing tweet we came across today:

And here's the letter:

Letters To The Publisher
"The People's Voice"

Halburn is neither respectable nor a reporter.
He's a thief, pure and simple.

Putnam Tailgate Cancelled-Halburn Removes Date From Site Only After We Point It Out

Earlier this month, Putnam Country Commissioner Joe Haynes announced that due to Saturday's special primary election for the U.S. Senate and decreased participation in the event, this year's Putnam County family tailgate party on Courthouse Hill has been cancelled.
Even though Halburn knows about the fact, he refuse to take it off his site and inform his readers of the change.
Why would he do this?
The reason is obvious.
It's yet another childish effort by Halburn to make Commissioner Haynes look bad.
Halburn figures if a lot of people show up and there's no event, they'll be angry.

Well, they should be angry.
Not at Commissioner Haynes, but at Halburn for knowingly printing information that he knows to be false.
And maybe they should look in the mirror and be angry with themselves as well, for relying on a so-called "news" site that has a reputation for biased coverage, unethical behavior and a cavalier disregard for its readers and their valuable time.
Now, since PutnamLIES.com has published this article, look for Halburn to stop ignoring the cancellation and start criticizing Haynes for cancelling the event.